03 May, 2016

Keep your eyes and mind open

That sign should be a burnt orange!
Possibilities await around every corner. You hear that kind of thing quite often... People tell you to be careful of letting any grand doors of opportunity go unnoticed. May I be the first one to say that they are hard to spot? I'm never sure what shape they'll take or how to prepare for them. What colour is opportunity? Probably a colour outside of our visual range. Like ultra-violet. Stupid invisible colours! Oh... Apparently opportunity is a burnt orange, Google just told me so.
That's better...
All the little shining opportunities...

Perhaps I'm being too hasty. Maybe if I chill out a little and pay more attention to my surroundings then opportunity will flicker in the darkness like a shy firefly. Then I'll catch it in a bug-net, put it in a jar and observe it as it tries oh so hard to escape my clutches! Muahahaha! Wait, is that how opportunity calls? Maybe not... If I can't fit it into a jar then I'll just have to hold on as tight as I can for as long as possible.

Opportunity is such a funny looking word when you notice it! Ahem, sorry 'bout that - I guess I'd better go and seek out some opportunity now... But first:

Words of encouragement

Jess my beautiful girl, I know that you've been stressed to your limits with all these driving lessons and tests. Remember that I believe in you Jess, and we are gonna celebrate when you have your license! I can't wait to see how happy you will be once you pass. No matter what, remember that I will always love you no matter what. Good luck my girl, go get 'em!

Yours in writing
The designated driver

28 April, 2016


Ah, gossip. Who doesn't love a little gossip here and there? ME! That's who! It irks me to see people talk behind another person's back without a care for the lack of authentication to their words. Do they enjoy spreading conjectures and lies without any confirmation? I see it nearly on a daily basis. If you're so bored with your own life then try to take an interest in sport. The weather. The paint drying on your walls. Gossiping is the most dis-respectful way that I've seen people treat others without a care or concern.

I would rather not talk about anything if the only topic is my neighbor's eating habits as seen by a little birdie. And I'm pretty sure that's the reason I get labeled as an especially quiet person most of the time. Don't get me wrong, the label is correct, I rarely know what to talk about unless I'm around friends. Then I only say inappropriate things half of the time ;) I'm quite awkward in conversation... I don't have a talent for speech, although I find that when I'm writing or typing then the words flow out naturally!
This funny coincidence of random chance deserves a random mention.
So here's a little tip that I picked up on the inter-web for you if you don't want to gossip, but aren't sure when you're doing it: "If you aren't part of the problem or solution, it's gossip." So try to keep your mouth clean, I'm gonna use that quote as a mantra from now on.

On another note:

I'm focusing on cleanliness more-so than ever!

I wrote the following instructional page out in order to keep myself in check, with a little motivation at the end to keep my spirits up:

Since I am a lazy so-and-so whom only brushes once a day and shaves once a week... Well that changes today! (last Monday actually, I'm only writing about it now)

The whole "Exercise" portion (Number 3) hasn't taken affect yet, I'm being a lazy maggot about that. But I'll get there

Thanks for cheering me on! "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" after all.

Yours in writing

25 April, 2016

More scarves

Gotta love dem winter wear! And who wouldn't? Except people that don't like scarves in general I suppose. Or if they have a scarf allergy D: Let's share a moment of silence for such poor souls... Scarf allergies are no matter to laugh at. I used to not like scarves, back when I was a dumb snot-nosed kid. But don't you worry, I got better! I can't wear gloves though. They press in between your fingers like they own the place and touching paper while wearing them is pure torture! That awful sound and feeling of cotton against paper sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it. Not to mention those "One size fits all" lies - SOME OF US HAVE BIGGER HANDS DAMMIT! I never understood such blatant disregard for larger hands. Nor did I get gloves that fit me without riding up my fingers, that was my biggest issue. Gloves suck.
My pillows like scarves too!


Chants are great... Join me! We'll form an angry mob against gloves. Get y'er pitchforks and torches here! Cheap bulk price!

If you happen to like gloves, please consider the negative effects they have on the environment. There are probably toxic fumes that will be released into the air when you realise they suck and need to be burnt. Just a waste of material that could've been used in the production of more scarves...

Some of you are probably wondering why I suddenly love scarves. Well! I'm glad you asked! I really disliked them growing up, since the material pushes your hair in uncomfortable directions and restricts your neck movement if it's bound too tightly. But around a month ago a cold front passed through which made me wonder how I'd walk to work without dying or losing fingers to the frost. So I dug my scarf out of the draw that it's inhabited for the last few years and surrendered my neck to its warm embrace. I've been hooked ever since. So long story short, I don't know - I just like to wear them now. They still feel uncomfortable on my hair and I have to loosen their death-grip on my throat once in a while but I like 'em regardless.
For Jess by special request

Perhaps understanding my sudden love of scarves shall bring me ever closer to finding the meaning of life... Otherwise why would I be writing about them? That must be it. I'm sure I'll figure it out soon. Hopefully it's nothing as simple as wanting to be different.

Yours in writing
Benjamin's Scarf

22 April, 2016

Thick-headed determination

In my (insert post title here), I went out and acquired a packet of cinnamon sticks even though I can't get a Bunsen burner. I arrived at the little spice store in 27 Boxes - Sugar & Spice - just  as they were closing and escaped with R12.50 worth of cinnamon sticks stashed in my pocket. I wouldn't say I stole it, but I was expecting it to cost more so it felt like a steal ;) They never saw it coming! However, I dropped R12.50 into the shop owner's hands in my hasty escape...

Info titbit: 27 Boxes is a neat little new shopping center that opened up in Melville. It's built out of colourful shopping crates and oozes with cultural diversity and creativity. Art, books, food, people... It's quite a nice social gathering spot with plenty to look at.

The glass and ingredients!

The pretty glass, yet again!
When I arrived home I had no trouble finding a glass container for my smellies (anything to do with my room-scenting project shall be included in the category of: "Smellies"). I wanted something clear and open to release nice smells and look good. So I rinsed out my wine glass from Caro's wedding in January and filled it half with water, a few drops of vanilla essence and 2 widdle cinnamon sticks. Very aesthetically pleasing to the eyes, and the nose! Yes, my nose has a good sense of aesthetics. The nose knows... So now that it's been a couple days, I'm hoping I'll notice a difference when I get home. As it is, I already feel like my nose is less congested than it used to be.

More news:

That brings me to more news - I used to have a 2 meter long Red Tailed Boa Constrictor! But no more - on Sunday evening her new owner, David, picked her up. He'll be feeding her like 12-15 times more often than I did so she'll be fat and happy there which is a very good thing :) And I won't have any animals for a while. Nope, no pets. Too much guilt when you forget to feed them...

The snake left with all her poop smells too. Nice to find out that I wasn't the bad smelling one in the room! And all this time I thought my dirty socks were at fault. There was also some mold on that terrarium from constant water spills around her bowl, and come to think of it I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to mold. No wonder I've always felt so much healthier when I wasn't in my room :O

Yours in writing
Ben or Benjamin, whichever you prefer

20 April, 2016

Cool moms would...

I had an ingenious, creative and really friken cool idea yesterday. It came into creation when I was thinking: the most effective way to make my room smell nice and fresh with cinnamon and vanilla when it needs a quick pick-me-up has to be the method of boiling the ingredients in water. You can do that to get rid of the smell of cooking fish or just to cover up those putrid kitchen mishaps, so it should work in my tiny room too! I don't have space for a gas stove in there and a 2-plate would look tacky. I considered buying a kettle and putting the ingredients in there but it wouldn't boil long enough. Also, it might make the kettle explode - I've never put stuff in a boiling kettle. Anything could happen. Might create a black hole... Nope, too risky.

So after scratching out the kettle idea, it occurred to me - a Bunsen burner!!! I can put my ingredients into a cute little beaker, light up my Bunsen burner to bring it to a boil and everything's hunky-dorey. But nooOOOooo! My mom won't let me buy one because it's a wee-little bit dangerous. Because it could "Burn the house down" and stuff. Well I say a cool mom would've let her son buy a Bunsen burner and supported his new and fun idea. And who could forget how she ridiculed me on social media... She posted what I said for all her friends to laugh at. You never let me do cool stuff mom! I'm getting tattoos and nipple piercings in a show of rebellion. You don't know me! You don't know nutin'!

Bunsen burners are so neat! When I grow up, I want to be a Bunsen burner

Truth time:

My mom is actually the coolest mom ever. I am genuinely surprised that she wouldn't let me buy a Bunsen burner, I'd be careful with it! I can buy an old metal tray, keep the fiery creation hidden from any irresponsible friends and family... I can be trusted to play safely with fire in my wooden room with wooden furniture, I promise!

Sigh... Well I'm getting one when I move out. And everyone will like it B) Oh, and I won't be getting tattoos and nipple piercings in protest, that was just a joke. Just a tattoo of a Bunsen burner on my butt.

Now you're thinking to yourself: "Is he joking or simply insane?"
WELL!: "I haven't lost my Bunsen mind I say! Fire fire fire, fire fire..."
Sparky spark sparks

Let the sparks fly :D

Yours in writing

19 April, 2016

Scarves! Fashion trends of my neck

I'm rocking them now because scarves are cool. I am a scarf man! I am so infatuated with scarves that I have created an original song in dedication to the cause. Scarf lovers, please join me in salute:

Doooes--- your scarf hang low,
Does it wobble too and fro?
Can you tie it in a knot,
Can you not tie it in a knot?

Can you toss it over your shoulder
Like a real stylish soldier?
Does your scarf- hang- low?

Taken from the Blog: Steph Su Reads
Didn't read the blog, just Googled the pic...
In case you thought I was recommending it.
I just wanted to acknowledge the post!
Stop reading into it! -_-
Sometimes I just ooze originality like a creative pimple. Effective wording is so much fun to use! Especially when I imagine my readers equating originality to popping a ripe pus-filled pimple of "creative juices". Sometimes my sinister side rears it's mean head for no apparent reason, sorry about that. The pimple thing was meant as I joke, I am in no way aiming that at anybody with bad acne and if you found that offensive then shame. Stop getting offended by people that aren't talking about you or your problems. I would hope that you take it as a compliment instead, since I likened your face to a mine-field of creative juice! ...That might have come out wrong too. Apologies.

Nice smells

I prefer to not stink like some of my jokes, but if I'm gonna smell then I hope to at least smell nice and, more importantly, to smell nice things. So I will be attempting to make a cinnamon and vanilla oil perfume thing! I can see the potential for a wonderfully refreshing smelling bathroom but there's no way I'm wasting money on air freshener, so I did a little research and I'm almost prepared. All I need are cinnamon sticks, vanilla seeds or extract, and a method of releasing it in nice smells! How hard could it be? A few methods online seem fairly simple and idiot-proofed so I'll find out what works for me :D (P.S. I said "idiot-proof" but I will need to use the stove, so that's not a completely accurate assessment).
Wish me culinary luck, I'll try to not burn the house down.
Scarves rule!

Yours in writing
Binnjamon - That's my name mixed with Cinnamon, not to be confused with my Digimon name: 'SupAmazingBenjamon'

16 April, 2016

That special spark, and drawing puns

Everyone probably has something that they thoroughly enjoy doing. Maybe my passion is drawing? I get seriously pumped up when I'm drawing something I like. I find that the hours slip by with a pencil in my hand, and I reach a peaceful calm state whilst I swipe my hand in all directions. Also, it's really fun to duplicate shapes and textures. Once in a while I actually get the result I wanted to begin with!

So, for those of you that would like to see what my significant other looks like, I have drawn a picture and attached it below the paragraph that you're reading. Yep, that's the one! But finish this paragraph before you get too drawn in, don't skip ahead! She just might hate me for posting this so publicly, or she'll love the show of devotion. It's a bit of a coin toss right now, search comments for the final verdict... (Jess, please post a comment. Otherwise I'll just look silly)

Your eyes drew me in the most Jess, so I drew them in to return the favour.
I'm really very proud of it. It's the first time that I've drawn from real life and I'd like to develop my skills far enough to fix all the problems I'm finding in this drawing. I won't pin-point them to you, you can make your own reviews of my talents (or lack there of if you're that pessimistic, just don't tell me you think so. I choose to believe that I'm more than okay at this ;) Negative comments will be ignored and/or removed).

Thank you for feeding my desire by reading yet another blog post of mine, all these page views are great ego builders! For your efforts I have rewarded you by attaching the original image. The source of my inspiration, my beautiful muse, Jess:
The original masterpiece, photographed by a pro. Sorry for cutting your face in half  Kelly!

Until next time, brave readers (Be careful of the spidersharks during your web surfing)
Yours in writing

14 April, 2016

Our Gorgeous cat

Our kitty, Gorgeous as he is, can be a little strange sometimes. Firstly, he seems to love me (quite a lot) for some reason. I give him very little attention yet he follows me everywhere...

But I think the strangest thing he does is when he tries to kill his food. He doesn't get fed live rodents, nor recently deceased pests! I give him pellets in the morning and he shakes them violently without fail each and every time. I don't understand why you do this Gorgeous!

Exhibit A! And I don't think he's gonna even pick that up -_- since it's soapy

So we have 2 and a half cats in my home. Gorgeous is the fluffiest and biggest, and I think that he's the most loving.

Then we have 13, and she's Gorgeous' mother. A much thinner, smaller grey cat.

And lastly, there's Stratus. I count her as half a cat (which is quite generous a number) because she mostly lives with the neighbour. She isn't even around most days, since she gets tinned cat food with the neighbour and his house has 100% less dogs most of the time. But we don't blame her, I mean she's super old and needs to look after her 3 remaining teeth as best she can. But I at least get a glimpse of her desperate meowing mug when I arrive home... She doesn't leave the roof, but somehow wants my attention. I don't climb that well Stratus, nor can I jump like your decrepit old body can. For shame... I'm so much younger, yet I lack the youthful energy needed to even jump onto my roof.

Insert Abrupt Ending Here:
Yours in writing

12 April, 2016

The new poopy and background pictures

Who doesn't love a poopy? Sure it makes a mess, chews stuff up and poops on the carpet (when the door's open. Every time.) but it's super cute! And she has the tiniest little needle nails. So cute... But so painful! Recently I got a picture of her turning my dirty laundry pile into a bed and, after walking to the kitchen later, found out that she left a trail of said laundry back to my room. Trail of bread-crumbs I guess? I didn't bother to find that specific picture and post it since she is a ball of darkness and you could only slightly see her eyes in the blackness of fur.

Cute Fluffy Darkness

Then yesterday I got the opportunity to clean up shredded kitchen towel! Oh boy oh boy oh boy, that was soooo much fun! In hind-sight, I should've left it there and maybe the poopy would've pooped directly and conveniently on said kitchen towel... That would have been lovely :) I can't wait to get my own poopy when I move out.

- Truth time now guys, I don't want a poopy when I move out. I might think differently later in life, but right now the un-pooped floors are my current best friend. They smell so much nicer than dog poop.

Time to point out the obvious...

I changed my background picture! If you hadn't noticed, then you must be new and/or using the mobile version of my site that doesn't show you the background at all. Therefore, I forgive you. So to explain the pictures that you see, they are ones I've drawn over the years and put into a convenient collage. Some of them are from my high school days and are therefore very amateur, my apologies if they hurt the eyes from awkwardness and/or your own very high standards of what body proportions should be. If I say there doesn't need to be enough space for a brain (or that it should be square) then who are you to judge?

P.S. I don't think they look anatomically correct, I just lacked the practice and skill back then to do any better. I still do I suppose. My proudest ones are the skulls, Naruto, the winged kids and the kicking girl. Those ones took many hours and I felt satisfied with the results.

I plan to draw a strip that I can place behind the title and intro soon too!

Yours in writing

08 April, 2016

What's happening in my life?

Since I'm writing posts about me and the going-ons of my day to day life, and my most common reply to "What's new with you?" is "Meh..." (unless I've written a new Blog post - in which case the answer will be "I updated my Blog! Read it -_-") I find myself trying to recall what I did yesterday, or anything interesting that happened to me recently.
Gotta stop eating that Unicorn poop...

I doubt that people want to know about how badly I gagged on my tooth brush yesterday morning or how I nearly slipped on a dusty tile and nearly split my head open in the process. Don't worry! I just kicked a desk and regained my footing, and I lived. No... The stories I tell should be grand and keep you on the edge of your seat! Or better yet, make you fall OFF your seat laughing! I want to tell stories that baffle the mind and mystify the soul. I shall settle for nothing less!

Pictures Per Post

So, to the mystifying. What would be the perfect number of pictures in a Blog post? In my experience I'd have to say '2'!
Person A: "But why is it 2 Ben? What logic supports this most arbitrary number? How much research went into this? Personally, it sounds a little fishy to me. I'm starting to think that you made it up again! You appear to do that a lot, you know... Did you even Google it and read the first article you could find?"

My response: "Shut it Person A, you're just a figment of my imagination! I thought you up for the sole purpose of proving my point and you just side-tracked me from my all-important subject about pictures. That's it, I'm erasing you from my memory. Be gone!"

Person B: "That wasn't very mature Ben. Also, it didn't work! Person A has melded into my being and I, Person B, have now reached a higher state of being! Soon I shall be stronger than you and become the dominant existence in your mind. Just you wait, Benjamin Bankart, just you wait..."

Me again: "Ha! I know exactly how to destroy you, feeble mind creation! I know where you live!" - (Maniacal laughing ensues)

-Ouch, my head! Did it work? I'll find out when the ringing stops :)

Back to the topic:

I usually put 2 pictures on a post so I choose 2 as the answer!
- And that's 1 more of life's greatest questions... ANSWERED

Yours in writing
Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben
Manly- Ben, Ben, Ben
(From the show Two and a half Ben)

06 April, 2016

16 and 2 quarters

So we're in the 2nd quarter of 2016. I have been sufficiently lazy to fill my quota this year (please don't judge my quota of laziness)... Truth be told, I just finally have enough co-workers again to slip some blogging time into my busy schedule. Things are going well with yours truly, and I scooped up my scattered brain enough to reach out in my long-distance relationship. I find it hard to stay in contact with people far away, just ask my dad and sister! And please let them know that I'm thinking about them. So I Emailed Jono, off on mission for his church, and he appears to be very busy indeed. He hasn't replied, which is likely because he's always doing stuff (he said so in his weekly updates), but as long as he's noticed that I'm thinking about him then I am glad :)

Speaking of Jono, he gets back in only 9 months! 2 years go by slowly if you keep looking at the time. Like a boiling pot. Jono, you are my boiling pot! And when you get home and read this, you will remember how crazy your friends are. If you forget then we might feel emotionally hurt and we will have our revenge!!!
So THAT'S how it works!

I'm just joking everybody :P I'm not psycho, just a little on the crazy-fun side but not too-crazy over-the-top. Like scary crazy! I'm not scary crazy. One of my co-workers would likely disagree, but that's only because he doesn't share my sense of humour and he thinks I may be a mass-murdering psychopath - just because I smile broadly for no reason sometimes.

Setting unrealistic standards

I realised that I'm doing that for myself. Every time that I posted a well made and thought provoking blog post then I would get great feedback... I have come to realise that the positive feedback makes me only want to use my time posting thought provoking and intellectually challenging content, otherwise it's a waste of time. Now the thing about those great posts is that they come naturally and NOT when I'm wracking my brain about making new original greatness.

Look at that thing!

Back to my roots!

What is my Blog called? "Who I am". I didn't call my blog "Mr Inflated ego" or "What I want people to see me as", so I need to write about ME and MY needs. Otherwise I won't write anything from the guilt of my unrealistic standards. Which led me to think that people really do set unrealistic standards in their own lives and for people around them, but I won't go into detail for that topic now...

Yours in writing

22 January, 2016

The list

In a desperate attempt to get my life organised this holiday season I made a "To-do" list on my arm. Every time I looked at it I remembered what I had just forgotten... My memory often fails me. I even forgot about this blog post that I started last year on lists! When I saw it again it made me remember the list I made on my arm which reminded me of the things I had to do back then. So therefore the to-do was a raging success! I rarely forgot stuff for longer than the time it took for me to glance at my arm once again. I used it back then to remind myself to buy gifts and wrap them, write letters to accommodate the prezzies and... Okay it was a long time ago. I forgot everything else I wrote on the list. But it worked at the time! Trust me, I'm a professional ;)

To-do lists are just so satisfying to comple-zZZZZ

I can do stuff I need done, just like any normal person B) I'm functional and super-cool! Here me now: "To-do lists are the way of the future!"

Speaking of the FUTURE

That box is almost square enough to use for a frame in a comic... That reminds me!

I need to make more comics in it ("it" refers to the future). I'll try to make one each month, which gives me 10 or so days to finish my current one. That should be totally do-able...

And I need to work on creating "Mr. Immortal meets Ms. Death". That can be February if I figure out what to do for it, I think Ms. Death should be a widow :P But the rest I'll figure out without giving more spoilers (for something that I don't even have a rough idea of yet). - Thank you Sean for the idea!

So in the past I've written quite a few 'Deep' posts on my more emotional and controversial topics such as: "The Meaning of Life", "Racism", and "3 is The Magic Number"... Yet, at the moment, I feel no such inclination. My mind is at peace with (most of) the world, and I am content. My emotions ain't stirring and grudges aren't burning. I like this calm! I know it won't last long, things keep changing around me and it's only a matter of time before something rubs me the wrong way. That only makes this peace so much more enjoyable because I know it's fleeting. I hope that you are also able to find peace every once in a while and take in the calm when it sweeps over you, my loyal readers.

Yours in writing

20 January, 2016

A short interlude

Made you read it again and again and again...
And again
Honestly, I thought I would be blogging more during this Christmas/Birthday/Wedding season. Well... Here's my delayed notice that I will be was on Hiatus for a month or so. I know it would've been better if I told you sooner, but I honestly planned to keep writing while I holidayed. But I guess life took over... (yes, I just got distracted)

Boy, that was a good holiday! Here's a breakdown of what I did in that space of time:

  • Lived through every day successfully,
  • Didn't die once! Honest!
  • Drove a lot in one day - leaving at 5am and arriving at 11:30pm (we had many breaks along the way to Wilderness),
  • Ate food,
  • Slept,
  • Went to Christmas with my girlfriend's family,
  • Attended the AWESOME wedding of my sister and Francois on the 8th of January,
  • And started working once again.

I do wish it lasted at least a little longer, though I certainly enjoyed the time that I had with my family and experienced great amounts of joy. T'was the season to be jolly after all! - Tralalalala-lala-la-la

My sister is a married woman!

Breath-taking pictures were captured on the beach.
I'm so proud to be your brother, you look beautiful!
And so do you Caro!!!

I still struggle to understand this concept. She is married, I have a bro-in-law, my mother is now a mother-in-law and MY SISTER IS A MARRIED WOMAN! Oh, I said that twice :O Wow... It blows my mind... And it's really great! If only I could see them more often. I love you my sister :D

Okay! So with this post, I'm back for good. I'll write more regularly again (hopefully) and try not to disappoint my adoring fans (that would be you).

OK bye now...

Yours in writing