18 September, 2015

Being attractive and approachable

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, your opinion doesn't count!


Behold, "The Beholder"
Even if you don't think so or you don't want to admit it, someone probably finds you attractive. In
most cases, one of those people should be your partner. hopefully. If you aren't rich or famous, they probably think you look okay at least. I've been incredibly good-looking for as long as I can remember, and honestly it seems like people enforce a positive self-image way more often than warning you of the dangers of an over-inflated ego or lack of humility. It can get you into shit...

Seriously, I get hit on often enough. A few days ago I was told that I have beautiful eyes! How lovely :) what a charming gentleman. And I've been asked out for a drink before, such a generous offer, but I'm in a relationship! And I'm still not into men... I miss getting hit on by women, that happened a lot more often when I was getting them drunk. Back in the bar-tending days of old, being forced to drink free alcohol and sleeping until mid-afternoon after a night shift. Good times... I'm glad they're over, but still - good times.

What really gets to me is when people don't know they're beautiful or incredibly good-looking, feeling sorry for themselves because they don't believe in their appearance. So what if you look at yourself and don't see beauty? Did you know that you can see more imperfections on your own face than anyone looking at you sees? That means we see your beauty more than you do. It's all about perception! When you call somebody beautiful do you change your mind when you find out they think they look awkward? NO! That being said, I'm only talking about outer beauty now. People are drawn to beautiful hearts as well, your looks mean very little to someone that loves you for your personality (that's what I see anyway).

Then there's confidence! Confidence can make a deforming scar look like a bold declaration of strength. It turns gross acne into just another minor feature on a face filled with pride. Truly, if you want to look attractive, the best way to do so is by inspiring yourself with confidence! Tell yourself you're looking sharp today and repeat it until you believe it. Every time you see yourself, say something positive about your looks. "Nice dimple today, me!" or "Savvy hair sir!" or whatever you feel like telling yourself. Even "2 eyes, a nose and mouth, skin... So normal!" (not that you have to look 'normal' to be attractive either!).
Confident = Attractive
So hold your shoulders up, look people in the eye and stare those suckers down. Heck, even make them feel uncomfortable so that they look away from your confident gaze if you feel like it!

Yisssss! Another successful post! Simon says "Be happy!". If you don't try - and it does require some effort on your part at times - then you have no right to complain!

Mr. Bankart

17 September, 2015


That's the name of the energy drink I'm currently consuming. I have had many of those and Monster energy drinks over the days I've worked here, because I'm tired and I'd rather be sleeping :P And I may be addicted to the caffeine... Just a little... I'm sure I could quit right now if I wanted to!
It just looks so majestic...

The amazing fridge dessert thing

The day before yesterday I made a fridge dessert thing! I felt like eating custard, caramel and chocolate. So I fused them in an apocalyptic-ly delicious dessert B)

Ingredients up there.


I brought 2 packs of tennis biscuits (which was 1 pack too many), vanilla flavoured custard powder (because it's cheaper than normal custard powder), a tin of caramel, 2L of milk, and an Aero bar!

Preparations! (In chronological order)
Custard mixed and ready!

  1. Make custard, and make it super thick! I followed the instructions for "Thick" and added a little more custard powder.
  2. Prepare a Tupperware! Or pan or whatever, it don't matter.
  3. Put half the custard in the Tupperware/pan/whatever. Lay down a layer of tennis biscuits!
  4. Smear the De-lish-E-ousss caramel on your bed of biscuits and crush the chocolate to smithereens! Decimate that sucker, reduce it to dust!!!
  5. Sprinkle your chocolate bits evenly across the layer of caramel, and a LIGHT sprinkle of cinnamon.
  6. Now comes the most important part. Add the rest of the super thick custard, still hot. If you take too long and it gets cold, you've failed! The custard melts your chocolate, the chocolate fuses with the caramel and dreams come true!
  7. Now put the Tupperware/pan/whatever in the fridge for a long time. If it isn't done when you check it, put it back for even LONGER!. Ideally the chocolate solidifies once again and it is amazing.
  8. This step is easy, just eat it! Stuff yo' face with sugary goodness. Enjoy!
  9. Don't finish the tin of caramel just because you feel like it while the dessert is cooling down, when you get to eating the actual dessert you will regret it 0_0 trust me.
  10. Before making anything, or while you wait for the milk to boil, crush the chocolate and open the packet of biscuits so you're ready for that custard! I used a pestle to smash the chocolate in the packet on a breadboard, it was fun.
P.S. I don't know if this has been made before, it came to me in a dream. A day dream. On a very empty stomach. I am a genius...
The finished product, slightly eaten

Please sign the following indemnity form and fax it to me for security reasons:
If I, Insert name here, get fat from making and eating this incredible dessert,
I will in no way hold Benjamin responsible at all, what-so-ever.
I take full responsibility for my metabolic rate if I do eat this food-stuffs.
Thank you for the idea though, I'm certain it will be delicious!
Sign here:Insert signature here

Thank you for your time taken reading this post, no refunds (of time) will be given.

I'm out!

16 September, 2015

Religious views

This is gonna be a stressful post to write 0_0

I am not religious, I don't enjoy church and I'd much rather hear about the good nature of a persons heart than be told that God's grace is the only viable answer to enjoying life. To be clear, I'm not hating on anybody or talking without experience. I have gone to church for a good portion of my child-hood and even some of the teen years, so I know what it's about. Sunday school was always fun! And these views of mine are not a recent development, I've felt this way for many years now.

No, I'm not telling anyone to be agnostic,
just saying I am.
I try my best to make a point of not criticising any person based on their religious views, just as I don't want it happening to me. You know, "Do unto others...". So how do I live my life without believing everything is run by a God? I am agnostic and I'm at peace with my current mindset of not knowing certain things for sure. Including what'll happen when I die. I know it's scary to think there will just be "Nothing". If there is an afterlife I'd be thrilled to find out when I die, that's a discovery I don't mind waiting to make. I'm in no rush to get there.

I love life, it's something you only get once and it is truly precious. YOLO! Be safe, live happily and make it count. Living life by principles is my answer to living happily! And I derive the majority of those principles from religion, lessons learnt from the bible. I do my best to be happy at no-one else's expense, I do what I enjoy and try not to hold back, and I derive joy from bringing happiness to others (especially family and my close friends). I'm a people-pleaser. I also deeply love my family and I know this will probably upset some of you, but I feel the need to finally open up about this. I know you'll still accept me as I am no matter what.

Lastly on the subject I'd like to ask that you kindly refrain from trying to get me to come around to your thinking, I am very happy where I am and I don't enjoy talking about religion. I try to avoid the subject - perhaps one day I'll join a church and be baptised, but that's not today. Thank you for understanding!

And now that that's over with!

I wish there were a few more hours in the day. 2 or 3 hours, I could sleep that little bit more and life would be perfect! But alas, time is limited and your impending doom draws nearer with each passing second... An hour gone, a portion of your day disappears and you're one step closer to the end of your life. That's what plays on my nerves whenever I procrastinate. It doesn't get me anywhere, I end up doing something even more meaningless like play a mindless internet game for 3 hours. I love being productive! I consider writing this blog as a productive activity, and so right now I'm quite chuffed with myself. This is the third day in a row that I'm posting, yay me!
Pay attention to me, I'm on a pedestal.
So important...

P.S. Sharing my soul is fun (by which I mean telling you stuff that wouldn't normally leave my lips).
I enjoy having my subjects FRIENDS AND FAMILY being able to read about me and my thoughts. Thanks for listening with your eyes O.O

Bye bye
Yours truly

15 September, 2015

A cockroach burning!

Random, I know...

To give you an almost-accurate idea
as to how we spent our Saturday
On Saturday we burnt cockroaches. My colleague, one of the technicians where I work, found the root cause of a Lenovo Laptop's psychological issues - he/she/it was being walked all over by wretched roaches. They were burrowing through its brain, so to speak, wreaking havoc on the poor guys'/girls'/things' state of mind. So the motherboard was completely destroyed. In a desperate and slightly sadistic attempt to protect our workplace from an infestation, we put the critters on a metal plate and in a pool of alcohol. And lit those suckers up!

I just hope we got all of them...

On another note, that same colleague is now sick! On his second day off in a row (100% longer than I've ever seen him away from his desk) and by the sounds of it he's no closer to recovery. I'm wishing you the best Carlos, get well soon! The sooner the better, because I can't take a day off until you're fully healed ;)

Seriously though, please don't die!

...Note - Another note. I brought a new keyboard! Specifically for gaming! What the hell was I thinking!? I don't have time to game! Foolish dream world I got sucked into. It looks really nice though! The Armageddon AK-300, with dazzling yellow gaming keys. Then I saw them in red... Dammit! I want red! IT'S NOT FAIR! (throws toys out of cot)
This is not a picture of my exact keyboard, just a pic from the inter-webs.
I haven't photographed my keyboard and probably won't.
I'm just kidding, I don't have a cot. (throws toys off bed, feeling anger and loss upon realising that I have no cot)

Oh boy, I can't wait to play a game - any game - with my new keyboard! Although, rather frustratingly, I can't figure out how to detach the black keys so that I can fit my yellow keys into place. If all else fails and I accidentally smash it into 1000 tiny, broken and incinerated pieces in a fit of rage then I could always just replace it with the same model that has red keys :D
And then find out how to change them properly.

Seyonara foolish humans!

P.S. If you are not in fact foolish, please disregard my farewell and have a lovely day. You are a special being that is loved and your existence has great meaning in this world.

Farewell blessed beings!

14 September, 2015

How long is a blog post?


My girlfriend wanted me to write a new blog post, and has told me that she checks this page regularly. So here it is! Just for you Jess, I did it! Another chance for you to peer through the black and white door of my digitally recorded soul. Yay! I chose the title for this post to indicate my philosophical nature and deep thoughts, HOW LONG IS A BLOG POST!? It's not that long really. In fact... This one is done!
An artists interpretation of how deeply
I am thinking whilst I write this.

  • "So soon?"
  • "Yes!"
  • "But why bother then?"
  • "I am dramatic!"
  • "Both of you, shut up! This blog post is finished, you're dragging it on for no good reason. Dear reader, please pardon the voices in my head, they don't actually exist."