03 May, 2016

Keep your eyes and mind open

That sign should be a burnt orange!
Possibilities await around every corner. You hear that kind of thing quite often... People tell you to be careful of letting any grand doors of opportunity go unnoticed. May I be the first one to say that they are hard to spot? I'm never sure what shape they'll take or how to prepare for them. What colour is opportunity? Probably a colour outside of our visual range. Like ultra-violet. Stupid invisible colours! Oh... Apparently opportunity is a burnt orange, Google just told me so.
That's better...
All the little shining opportunities...

Perhaps I'm being too hasty. Maybe if I chill out a little and pay more attention to my surroundings then opportunity will flicker in the darkness like a shy firefly. Then I'll catch it in a bug-net, put it in a jar and observe it as it tries oh so hard to escape my clutches! Muahahaha! Wait, is that how opportunity calls? Maybe not... If I can't fit it into a jar then I'll just have to hold on as tight as I can for as long as possible.

Opportunity is such a funny looking word when you notice it! Ahem, sorry 'bout that - I guess I'd better go and seek out some opportunity now... But first:

Words of encouragement

Jess my beautiful girl, I know that you've been stressed to your limits with all these driving lessons and tests. Remember that I believe in you Jess, and we are gonna celebrate when you have your license! I can't wait to see how happy you will be once you pass. No matter what, remember that I will always love you no matter what. Good luck my girl, go get 'em!

Yours in writing
The designated driver

28 April, 2016


Ah, gossip. Who doesn't love a little gossip here and there? ME! That's who! It irks me to see people talk behind another person's back without a care for the lack of authentication to their words. Do they enjoy spreading conjectures and lies without any confirmation? I see it nearly on a daily basis. If you're so bored with your own life then try to take an interest in sport. The weather. The paint drying on your walls. Gossiping is the most dis-respectful way that I've seen people treat others without a care or concern.

I would rather not talk about anything if the only topic is my neighbor's eating habits as seen by a little birdie. And I'm pretty sure that's the reason I get labeled as an especially quiet person most of the time. Don't get me wrong, the label is correct, I rarely know what to talk about unless I'm around friends. Then I only say inappropriate things half of the time ;) I'm quite awkward in conversation... I don't have a talent for speech, although I find that when I'm writing or typing then the words flow out naturally!
This funny coincidence of random chance deserves a random mention.
So here's a little tip that I picked up on the inter-web for you if you don't want to gossip, but aren't sure when you're doing it: "If you aren't part of the problem or solution, it's gossip." So try to keep your mouth clean, I'm gonna use that quote as a mantra from now on.

On another note:

I'm focusing on cleanliness more-so than ever!

I wrote the following instructional page out in order to keep myself in check, with a little motivation at the end to keep my spirits up:

Since I am a lazy so-and-so whom only brushes once a day and shaves once a week... Well that changes today! (last Monday actually, I'm only writing about it now)

The whole "Exercise" portion (Number 3) hasn't taken affect yet, I'm being a lazy maggot about that. But I'll get there

Thanks for cheering me on! "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" after all.

Yours in writing

25 April, 2016

More scarves

Gotta love dem winter wear! And who wouldn't? Except people that don't like scarves in general I suppose. Or if they have a scarf allergy D: Let's share a moment of silence for such poor souls... Scarf allergies are no matter to laugh at. I used to not like scarves, back when I was a dumb snot-nosed kid. But don't you worry, I got better! I can't wear gloves though. They press in between your fingers like they own the place and touching paper while wearing them is pure torture! That awful sound and feeling of cotton against paper sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it. Not to mention those "One size fits all" lies - SOME OF US HAVE BIGGER HANDS DAMMIT! I never understood such blatant disregard for larger hands. Nor did I get gloves that fit me without riding up my fingers, that was my biggest issue. Gloves suck.
My pillows like scarves too!


Chants are great... Join me! We'll form an angry mob against gloves. Get y'er pitchforks and torches here! Cheap bulk price!

If you happen to like gloves, please consider the negative effects they have on the environment. There are probably toxic fumes that will be released into the air when you realise they suck and need to be burnt. Just a waste of material that could've been used in the production of more scarves...

Some of you are probably wondering why I suddenly love scarves. Well! I'm glad you asked! I really disliked them growing up, since the material pushes your hair in uncomfortable directions and restricts your neck movement if it's bound too tightly. But around a month ago a cold front passed through which made me wonder how I'd walk to work without dying or losing fingers to the frost. So I dug my scarf out of the draw that it's inhabited for the last few years and surrendered my neck to its warm embrace. I've been hooked ever since. So long story short, I don't know - I just like to wear them now. They still feel uncomfortable on my hair and I have to loosen their death-grip on my throat once in a while but I like 'em regardless.
For Jess by special request

Perhaps understanding my sudden love of scarves shall bring me ever closer to finding the meaning of life... Otherwise why would I be writing about them? That must be it. I'm sure I'll figure it out soon. Hopefully it's nothing as simple as wanting to be different.

Yours in writing
Benjamin's Scarf

22 April, 2016

Thick-headed determination

In my (insert post title here), I went out and acquired a packet of cinnamon sticks even though I can't get a Bunsen burner. I arrived at the little spice store in 27 Boxes - Sugar & Spice - just  as they were closing and escaped with R12.50 worth of cinnamon sticks stashed in my pocket. I wouldn't say I stole it, but I was expecting it to cost more so it felt like a steal ;) They never saw it coming! However, I dropped R12.50 into the shop owner's hands in my hasty escape...

Info titbit: 27 Boxes is a neat little new shopping center that opened up in Melville. It's built out of colourful shopping crates and oozes with cultural diversity and creativity. Art, books, food, people... It's quite a nice social gathering spot with plenty to look at.

The glass and ingredients!

The pretty glass, yet again!
When I arrived home I had no trouble finding a glass container for my smellies (anything to do with my room-scenting project shall be included in the category of: "Smellies"). I wanted something clear and open to release nice smells and look good. So I rinsed out my wine glass from Caro's wedding in January and filled it half with water, a few drops of vanilla essence and 2 widdle cinnamon sticks. Very aesthetically pleasing to the eyes, and the nose! Yes, my nose has a good sense of aesthetics. The nose knows... So now that it's been a couple days, I'm hoping I'll notice a difference when I get home. As it is, I already feel like my nose is less congested than it used to be.

More news:

That brings me to more news - I used to have a 2 meter long Red Tailed Boa Constrictor! But no more - on Sunday evening her new owner, David, picked her up. He'll be feeding her like 12-15 times more often than I did so she'll be fat and happy there which is a very good thing :) And I won't have any animals for a while. Nope, no pets. Too much guilt when you forget to feed them...

The snake left with all her poop smells too. Nice to find out that I wasn't the bad smelling one in the room! And all this time I thought my dirty socks were at fault. There was also some mold on that terrarium from constant water spills around her bowl, and come to think of it I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to mold. No wonder I've always felt so much healthier when I wasn't in my room :O

Yours in writing
Ben or Benjamin, whichever you prefer

20 April, 2016

Cool moms would...

I had an ingenious, creative and really friken cool idea yesterday. It came into creation when I was thinking: the most effective way to make my room smell nice and fresh with cinnamon and vanilla when it needs a quick pick-me-up has to be the method of boiling the ingredients in water. You can do that to get rid of the smell of cooking fish or just to cover up those putrid kitchen mishaps, so it should work in my tiny room too! I don't have space for a gas stove in there and a 2-plate would look tacky. I considered buying a kettle and putting the ingredients in there but it wouldn't boil long enough. Also, it might make the kettle explode - I've never put stuff in a boiling kettle. Anything could happen. Might create a black hole... Nope, too risky.

So after scratching out the kettle idea, it occurred to me - a Bunsen burner!!! I can put my ingredients into a cute little beaker, light up my Bunsen burner to bring it to a boil and everything's hunky-dorey. But nooOOOooo! My mom won't let me buy one because it's a wee-little bit dangerous. Because it could "Burn the house down" and stuff. Well I say a cool mom would've let her son buy a Bunsen burner and supported his new and fun idea. And who could forget how she ridiculed me on social media... She posted what I said for all her friends to laugh at. You never let me do cool stuff mom! I'm getting tattoos and nipple piercings in a show of rebellion. You don't know me! You don't know nutin'!

Bunsen burners are so neat! When I grow up, I want to be a Bunsen burner

Truth time:

My mom is actually the coolest mom ever. I am genuinely surprised that she wouldn't let me buy a Bunsen burner, I'd be careful with it! I can buy an old metal tray, keep the fiery creation hidden from any irresponsible friends and family... I can be trusted to play safely with fire in my wooden room with wooden furniture, I promise!

Sigh... Well I'm getting one when I move out. And everyone will like it B) Oh, and I won't be getting tattoos and nipple piercings in protest, that was just a joke. Just a tattoo of a Bunsen burner on my butt.

Now you're thinking to yourself: "Is he joking or simply insane?"
WELL!: "I haven't lost my Bunsen mind I say! Fire fire fire, fire fire..."
Sparky spark sparks

Let the sparks fly :D

Yours in writing

19 April, 2016

Scarves! Fashion trends of my neck

I'm rocking them now because scarves are cool. I am a scarf man! I am so infatuated with scarves that I have created an original song in dedication to the cause. Scarf lovers, please join me in salute:

Doooes--- your scarf hang low,
Does it wobble too and fro?
Can you tie it in a knot,
Can you not tie it in a knot?

Can you toss it over your shoulder
Like a real stylish soldier?
Does your scarf- hang- low?

Taken from the Blog: Steph Su Reads
Didn't read the blog, just Googled the pic...
In case you thought I was recommending it.
I just wanted to acknowledge the post!
Stop reading into it! -_-
Sometimes I just ooze originality like a creative pimple. Effective wording is so much fun to use! Especially when I imagine my readers equating originality to popping a ripe pus-filled pimple of "creative juices". Sometimes my sinister side rears it's mean head for no apparent reason, sorry about that. The pimple thing was meant as I joke, I am in no way aiming that at anybody with bad acne and if you found that offensive then shame. Stop getting offended by people that aren't talking about you or your problems. I would hope that you take it as a compliment instead, since I likened your face to a mine-field of creative juice! ...That might have come out wrong too. Apologies.

Nice smells

I prefer to not stink like some of my jokes, but if I'm gonna smell then I hope to at least smell nice and, more importantly, to smell nice things. So I will be attempting to make a cinnamon and vanilla oil perfume thing! I can see the potential for a wonderfully refreshing smelling bathroom but there's no way I'm wasting money on air freshener, so I did a little research and I'm almost prepared. All I need are cinnamon sticks, vanilla seeds or extract, and a method of releasing it in nice smells! How hard could it be? A few methods online seem fairly simple and idiot-proofed so I'll find out what works for me :D (P.S. I said "idiot-proof" but I will need to use the stove, so that's not a completely accurate assessment).
Wish me culinary luck, I'll try to not burn the house down.
Scarves rule!

Yours in writing
Binnjamon - That's my name mixed with Cinnamon, not to be confused with my Digimon name: 'SupAmazingBenjamon'

16 April, 2016

That special spark, and drawing puns

Everyone probably has something that they thoroughly enjoy doing. Maybe my passion is drawing? I get seriously pumped up when I'm drawing something I like. I find that the hours slip by with a pencil in my hand, and I reach a peaceful calm state whilst I swipe my hand in all directions. Also, it's really fun to duplicate shapes and textures. Once in a while I actually get the result I wanted to begin with!

So, for those of you that would like to see what my significant other looks like, I have drawn a picture and attached it below the paragraph that you're reading. Yep, that's the one! But finish this paragraph before you get too drawn in, don't skip ahead! She just might hate me for posting this so publicly, or she'll love the show of devotion. It's a bit of a coin toss right now, search comments for the final verdict... (Jess, please post a comment. Otherwise I'll just look silly)

Your eyes drew me in the most Jess, so I drew them in to return the favour.
I'm really very proud of it. It's the first time that I've drawn from real life and I'd like to develop my skills far enough to fix all the problems I'm finding in this drawing. I won't pin-point them to you, you can make your own reviews of my talents (or lack there of if you're that pessimistic, just don't tell me you think so. I choose to believe that I'm more than okay at this ;) Negative comments will be ignored and/or removed).

Thank you for feeding my desire by reading yet another blog post of mine, all these page views are great ego builders! For your efforts I have rewarded you by attaching the original image. The source of my inspiration, my beautiful muse, Jess:
The original masterpiece, photographed by a pro. Sorry for cutting your face in half  Kelly!

Until next time, brave readers (Be careful of the spidersharks during your web surfing)
Yours in writing