16 October, 2015

Singing in the rain

Remember that time before you had a cellphone, a wallet and a laptop, and being in the rain was fun? When the miracle of water falling from the sky filled you with joy? I do! Back in my day, before I worried about my cell short-circuiting, I'd run joyfully through the showers! Taking it in and drinking the drops that land on my lips.
I don't even need an umbrella!
These days I mostly just love the rain when it isn't causing me any inconveniences. When the extra moisture doesn't trip our old house's fragile distribution board, and the lightning doesn't blow up the sub-station. That's kinda sad... Next time it rains and it's warm I'm leaving my tech in the house or the car and going for a walk! As long as it's during the day, 'cause I don't wanna get mugged! Boy, they'd be disappointed if they mugged me on that day...

One Piece: Pirate Warriors 3!

I NEED TO PLAY IT!
RIGHT NOW!
WHY DO I HAVE TO WORK!? :(

I started playing that P.C. game yesterday and it's awesome! It has every character to date and starts you off from the very beginning of the story. That's a 700 episode long anime saga put into a single game! 240 hours of an epic adventure boiled into a game for me to devour! Woohoo! I only just started but I love it so far. And it has a co-op story mode, so I really want someone to play with me :P

You're even able to play as all the other characters, including Luffy's brother, Ace. If you know the anime, you're probably as thrilled as I am about that! If you haven't watched it then there's no time like the present!

And now for a poem:
I've lived many lives
In games I have played
If I could be playing one right now
You wouldn't have had to read this terrible poem.
It's really quite bad, I know, you want me to stop typing but I just keep going.
The end.
Psyche!
I really got you there, didn't I?
But alas, the end is nigh.
Good bye.

Happy Friday everybody, enjoy the coming weekend!
Yours in writing
Benjamin

15 October, 2015

Dead hobos

I was THIS CLOSE! To killing a hobo today. I was driving up a hill and had to accelerate, he was walking across the road at his own pace (very very very slow)(I'll add one more "slow" to give you a good idea of how slowly he was going!). So I used my brilliant skills of deduction to judge that he would clear my vehicle in time. He had looked directly at me a number of times, so when he stopped walking only 1 metre in front of me I can only assume he suddenly went BLIND and STUPID! Fortunately he left just enough of a gap between me and the car in the opposing lane. With my swift thinking and nimble fingers I took advantage of that gap and killed no-one!

If drivers' reflexes were a little slower, I dare say there'd be a lot more road-killed hobos on our dangerous streets. So please drive carefully my fellow motor-vehicle drivers! Blood is a bloody pain in the neck to clean off your bumper. Or so I hear...

A cookie for my pretties!

You look adorable! "No don't eat me!"
To everyone that spoke up about their hidden identities, their super-hero names, in my post (Hair! An on-growing tail...), A Cookie! As promised. I couldn't decide on the best name, so to make it fair, I shall eat the cookie. Nom nom nom. "Thank you" be to my loyal followers for participating, even though I get the biggest cookie, you each may have a smaller cookie! Still chocolaty and delicious!
1 for Wolf Girl, 1 for KATastrophe, 1 for Grammy, and 1 for Sergeant Major Mom.
And another 36 for me! Mwahahahaha!
I might get fat if I keep this up... Meh! Who cares, I'm living on the edge! Of obesity. With excitement!

Yours in writing,
BenjaMAN!

14 October, 2015

Another missed post, a little more guilt

Life tends to pick up the pace sometimes, it really catches you off guard... Smacks you around a little, you know how it is. And that is my grand excuse for skipping Monday's post! My apologies to all my readers that are up-lifted from their sad Monday blues when they learn of my grand exploits, I will try to not fail you next time. I promise! (that I will try)

I've still got it!


I know. I'm too young to think that I've lost it. But man, what a rush to your ego when a complete stranger tells you that you have a "Beautiful face"! She then ran off blushing. I'm sexy and I know it B)
And I'm full of myself. It's true...

More life-or-death animal informations!


As your loyal informations informant, let's talk about Kitty-cats, Woof-woofs, Ponies, Moo-ers, and Hamsters. I know you've been waiting patiently for this vital info!

What every cat EVER has thought of you
Lots of human beans like to keep Kitty-cats and Woof-woofs as pets. I would know, being a human bean with pets too. The Kitty-cat, aka Kitties and Me-ows, are a cold-hearted species of horrific horrors. They murder helpless animals for sport! Mostly pesky vermin that we don't want around anyway, but none-the-less they kill without mercy! They are also known to feast on the joy of the beans that look after them. They do this very efficiently, by causing you happiness with their attention-seeking nature and warm fuzzy fur. They trick your puny bean-like human bean brain into believing you want to pet them before they devour that happiness right out of you! Viciously!

Woof-woofs are indeed lovely creatures though. They funnel their own happiness into your life at their own expense, they're positively precious! But only if they like you! If it doesn't look like they like you, RUN!

That guy on the right is so convincing! :D
Ponies and Moo-ers! They are actually the same thing! The milk you drink is from selectively bred ponies, especially fat ones. Moo-ers, aka cows, do NOT exist! It's all a ruse to get you to buy the milk. Would you willingly drink pony milk? Probably not! Since ancient times, our corporate leaders have been lying to us about milk. They've built vast fields of lies! Literally! Those things that look like cows? NOT COWS! The farmers dress their children up as the fat mythical beasts and have them roam the fields. Corporate lies...

Hamsters are fine. No worries there. Perhaps a choking hazard of you don't chew properly, but I wouldn't say they're a cause for concern.

Stay safe and positively good-looking,
Yours in writing
Benjamin (not a cow)