01 October, 2015

Stay positive. Always.

That is not always so easy. The human brain prepares for the worst to keep you on your toes, to keep you alive. Just about every bad situation you can think of gets played out in your brain, whereas thinking positively goes against how you are wired. It goes against the very fabric of your being to ignore those retched sad thoughts and possible outcomes. But you should do it anyway!
I think it's this one :P
I shall attach a picture when I get it

I am not a focused individual... :( I get side-tracked easily by everything that comes my way. I forget stuff that I am (up to the point) quite drawn into... I've left shows abandoned mere episodes from their conclusion, games left to rot during their super-exciting climax and even jobs half done or quotes not followed through. It's not because I hate what I'm doing or am easily bored, I just genuinely have the attention span of a- oh hey! I just remembered I'm finally getting my prize for winning that lunch-eating competition last week! They're giving me an 8GB Flash Drive. In the form of BATMAN! That's right folks, I'm getting a Batman memory stick B)

Why the long absence, Ben?

Leave me alone! You aren't the boss of me! Ahem- sorry about that little outburst...

Good question! On Tuesday I was lazy as all hell, I had no energy at work and even less when I got back to my bed. And yesterday I was way too busy! I sent out quotes. Productively! Built up so many LAN cables that my fingers are still sensitive today. Productively! And read the web comic: "False Positive" for many hours after work. Less productive... But still fun!
The wonderful and macabre web comic I read
(On Francois' recommendation)
Jess kicked my butt into action, she posted on her blog (telling me to post on mine too) whilst I left mine to suffer in silence... Thank goodness my blog isn't actually alive, otherwise I'd feel pretty bad about that! Speaking of animals I feel bad about, I am trying to sell my red tailed boa constrictor. She is around 12 years of age and I am not good at looking after animals what-so-ever :( The poor thing needs attention. So I put an add on Gumtree! No-one contacted me so I put up a slightly cheaper add! 2 people messaged me, but I don't know if they're all that interested. Someone must want my snake! It's long, muscular and not venomous at all. Anyone?

Tune in next time for another thrilling story of courage, bravery and deadly snakes!
Or none of the above... I haven't decided what to write about yet.

Yours truly in black and white, bold and not bold, capital and lower case:

28 September, 2015

The mysterious +1

It would appear that I have at least 1 die hard fan, clicking on the Google +1 button below each new post that I put up. Please kind sir or madam, make yourself known and comment below! I'd love to find out if you exist, even an anonymous message would be gratefully appreciated!

Button looks something like this!
If there is no person that is pressing that button, I may have to come to terms with my own insanity... Perhaps I log in anonymously and press that button, only to forget about it immediately. Or aliens do it just to mess with me? All I know is that whenever I put up a new post, it always has +1 straight off the bat! By the time I get to it on my blog it's got +1 :l Perhaps it is automatically generated? I don't know...

But if you are out there, please reach out to me! Or else I shall have to refer to you as... The Lone +1'er! Valiantly surfing the inter-webs in search of blog posts that require +1's. A hero in the night, protector of lonely blogs! Bloggers everywhere salute you!

Sometimes I go a little overboard...

I blow things out of proportion for absolutely no reason. I don't know why, it's just something I do time to time. There! I admitted it! Now leave me alone guys! Hm... Well I suppose they only mentioned it once... And it might have only been one person. But none-the-less you don't know me! You don't know nothin'!

Sorry... I'm pretty darn crazy... You'll get used to it. Time for a little rant! It sincerely irritates me to hear people complain about other people :/ So often the people doing the complaining don't know how difficult it can be to listen to them. Do they know what the person they're directing their anger at is going through? No. Do they THINK they know, and in so they stop caring about their limited knowledge on the matter? Damn right.

Because it's not his real name!
You don't know him! You don't know nothin'!... And yet they persist. There's one poor gentleman by my chosen pseudonym of Jacob that makes an appearance at our store almost daily. Sometimes he asks for R8 to buy a loaf of bread, and my boss reluctantly obliges him on occasion. He shares with us the information of which he finds note-worthy during his visits, often to do with sport, health or various current affairs. My friend (here-after referred to as Charles) often remarks on Jacob's previous job title as a lawyer and believes he should have money oozing out his ears. Right. Now Charles! You don't know his past, maaan! UGH. Anyway. Rant over.
Life lesson to take away from this?: "Don't judge lest ye be judged." - The Bible.

Have a lovely week after this morose Monday
RAAARW! (Dinosaur Ben says goodbye)

27 September, 2015


Sorry, I know that the title is quite alarming.

That intense tightness in your chest, those heightened senses that you're experiencing this very moment... All caused by your stress levels rising from the shock and horror of my post title. Your mind wonders: "What!? Where will this stress come from? This is distressing! What if I'm not ready? Can it be avoided!? What the hell is going on!?" but just calm down! You'll be A-OKAY! Your life is in no immediate danger. Except perhaps a STRESS INDUCED HEART ATTACK!

If you have yet to have a heart attack from all the stress and uncertainty which I have caused thus far, you're probably going to be fine. The first paragraph is always the worst... Well done dear reader, you are one of the strong ones. A true survivor. A role model for all of us! Kudos to you! Everybody else that survived that, please give this individual an applause! (sounds of whistling and ecstatic clapping ensues)

Ways  to handle stress:

If there is something trying to kill you, then stress is good! A moment of heightened tension is healthy when it helps you to survive, and it is literally healthy for your body to experience a little adrenaline once in a while. Continued stress levels all day every day wears on your mind and body, and that is bad. End of story. (but not blog post)

Expect the unexpected.

Always expect and prepare for everything, and you will never be caught off guard. In case you cannot prepare for every eventuality, please take the following steps under advisement:
  • If you find yourself stressed out, breath in long deep breaths. This stops you from hyperventilating and keeps your feet on the ground. It should help you to calm down a little.
  • Look around you, observe your surroundings! You may notice that the situation isn't as bad as you initially thought. Are there any Bunnies nearby? No. You're safe. Nothing is trying to kill you right now.
  • Remember to keep your towel with you at all times. They have so many uses, you'd be a fool to leave home without it.
  • Lastly, relax! Don't be stressin' for little things, just be happy. Look at what you've got - family, friends, chocolate, an internet connection... What more could you want!?

"Don't wo-rry!
Be ha-ppy!
'cause every little thing... Is gonna be alright!
Do do do dooo do do do!" - Bobby McFerrin

I'd like to make a quick "Thank you" to all my lovely readers (yes, you!). Thank you for helping me reach 1,000 page views at 10pm last Friday night, I couldn't have done it without you! Okay well technically I could have, but it would have taken a butt load of clicks and I'd probably have gotten bored really quickly! :P

So long!
Brother-lady, out