Our Gorgeous cat

Our kitty, Gorgeous as he is, can be a little strange sometimes. Firstly, he seems to love me (quite a lot) for some reason. I give him very little attention yet he follows me everywhere...

But I think the strangest thing he does is when he tries to kill his food. He doesn't get fed live rodents, nor recently deceased pests! I give him pellets in the morning and he shakes them violently without fail each and every time. I don't understand why you do this Gorgeous!

Exhibit A! And I don't think he's gonna even pick that up -_- since it's soapy

So we have 2 and a half cats in my home. Gorgeous is the fluffiest and biggest, and I think that he's the most loving.

Then we have 13, and she's Gorgeous' mother. A much thinner, smaller grey cat.

And lastly, there's Stratus. I count her as half a cat (which is quite generous a number) because she mostly lives with the neighbour. She isn't even around most days, since she gets tinned cat food with the neighbour and his house has 100% less dogs most of the time. But we don't blame her, I mean she's super old and needs to look after her 3 remaining teeth as best she can. But I at least get a glimpse of her desperate meowing mug when I arrive home... She doesn't leave the roof, but somehow wants my attention. I don't climb that well Stratus, nor can I jump like your decrepit old body can. For shame... I'm so much younger, yet I lack the youthful energy needed to even jump onto my roof.

Insert Abrupt Ending Here:
Yours in writing
Benjamin

The meaning of life, the universe and blog posts

Write a meaningful post? Sure I can do that!

Hm... What's happening here? Almost every time I try to write a meaningful post that will benefit all of mankind, I draw a blank. I have no idea if what I write is considered meaningful, what do other people find meaning in? As an individual reader, do I connect with you through my monologue every time? Do I give you the feeling that I know what I'm talking about? Do all my rhetorical questions lined up in a row like this confuse you? Don't answer that...

Am I right!? Such a pain when people do that, what's their problem?

Perhaps everything I write has meaning to somebody. If one person reads a post on my blog and feels they can relate, then that's enough to make it worth while. That's the thought that drives me on (well, there's that and my insatiable desires for fame and recognition). Positive feedback is so damn motivating! And all the page views I get are definitely positive. My day normally consists of me writing a blog post in the morning, spell-checking it a bunch of times, confirming that my grammar is correct, and then adjusting the format and layout until I am completely satisfied! It takes time, but when I'm done I post it and wait! - Yes, I also have a job, so I work on my blog in the little free moments that I can grab.

And then I wait. And wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait... For the view count updates, refreshing my web page every few seconds! And looking for new comments! I love comments so damn much! That would be my deep desire and overwhelming thirst for attention shining through. Hold up, I'm just gonna put a lid on it. *POP!

Agh man, the lid was not powerful enough to hold my ever-growing ego! It consumes me!... I REALLY need to exercise some constraint here. Or even just exercise. I am far too un-fit... Sorry, I've gone a little bit off track! What was I talking about? Oh yes! You! Only 2 days ago I was flabbergasted to find how many people read my blog, I had 126 page views over the course of the day, which made around 1/6th of my all-time views! Did I do something right? Did someone else do something right on my behalf? I guess I'll never know...

Anyways, that made me as happy as a kid in a candy shop! Without parental supervision!

Topic change

I change topics so often that I'm never sure where I started... And I love it! I can talk about whatever I please, nothing can stop me! Mwahahaha! Well- Actually, you probably could. If my random topic changes are irritating enough and people start to boycott my blog then I'd have to stop. Stop changing the topic at my every whim, stop writing my blog, stop breathing... It could put me into a dark place. I like this blog! And I like you <--- No, I'm not just saying that to keep you reading, perish the thought!

Abrupt ending, ACTIVATE!

Hehe, bye bye!

Yours truly

Mr Ben - (I'm just about out of fresh names to call myself)