A short interlude

Made you read it again and again and again...
And again

Honestly, I thought I would be blogging more during this Christmas/Birthday/Wedding season. Well... Here's my delayed notice that I will be was on Hiatus for a month or so. I know it would've been better if I told you sooner, but I honestly planned to keep writing while I holidayed. But I guess life took over... (yes, I just got distracted)

Boy, that was a good holiday! Here's a breakdown of what I did in that space of time:

• Lived through every day successfully,
• Didn't die once! Honest!
• Drove a lot in one day - leaving at 5am and arriving at 11:30pm (we had many breaks along the way to Wilderness),
• Ate food,
• Slept,
• Went to Christmas with my girlfriend's family,
• Attended the AWESOME wedding of my sister and Francois on the 8th of January,
• And started working once again.

I do wish it lasted at least a little longer, though I certainly enjoyed the time that I had with my family and experienced great amounts of joy. T'was the season to be jolly after all! - Tralalalala-lala-la-la

My sister is a married woman!

Breath-taking pictures were captured on the beach.
I'm so proud to be your brother, you look beautiful!
And so do you Caro!!!

I still struggle to understand this concept. She is married, I have a bro-in-law, my mother is now a mother-in-law and MY SISTER IS A MARRIED WOMAN! Oh, I said that twice :O Wow... It blows my mind... And it's really great! If only I could see them more often. I love you my sister :D

Okay! So with this post, I'm back for good. I'll write more regularly again (hopefully) and try not to disappoint my adoring fans (that would be you).

I'M BACK BABY!
OK bye now...

Yours in writing
Benjamin

Creativity comes in bursts

A while ago I wrote something like 7 blog posts in one weekend. SEVAAAN! Then yesterday I had writer's block. Oh fragile mind, why do you maketh me struggle so!?

Charlie the 'Dream Machine'

I work with a Charlie. Kinda... His name is close enough to Charlie that I deem it fair to call him a Dream Machine. It's also close enough to Carl that I can say "But Carl, that kills people!" in a drawn-out naggy voice as though I were a Llama (in a hat). I have methods to my madness, I assure you! For those of you that don't know, there are ridiculous Youtube videos that you can watch to explain all. "Charlie the Unicorn" and "Llamas with hats". They have provided countless hours of entertainment, largely due to my friend 'almost-Charlie' not agreeing with being called a Dream Machine. He protests to the point of amusement. Mostly my amusement... :P Click on those links, I'm not going anywhere. But I am waiting...

The moment before everything went wrong. Just click on that link and watch it.

If your sense of humour isn't dark or twisted like mine, even a little bit, please don't blame me for making you watch Llamas with hats. They are hilarious unless you don't think so... Now! Creative bursts. You really build up a longing if you don't do creative stuff once in a while. Well - you do if you're me, because I do... So then I write, draw or do random creative things.

Building up to Christmas now, all this hype, 'almost-Carl' has gone on leave. That just leaves 'pronounced-kneel' and I alone some for a bit to manage the store. (I am omitting his real name for colleague confidentiality but to give you an idea his [or her] name is pronounced "kneel")

"That kills people!"
I don't know why you're still not watching it...

This is fine, but my friend 'almost-Charlie' was my primary source of entertainment. The crude jokes and inappropriate remarks throughout the day were a refreshing break from the usual stern professionalism which we uphold most of the time but not really... It's only been 4 hours of working without him but I can tell it'll be a long 2 weeks with him gone. For you 'almost-Carl': "Hello from the other side!". Have fun without us. I'm gonna call a thousand times. Cheers bro...

('Almost-Charlie', stop reading here!!!!!)
PSST! Don't tell 'almost-Carl' that I'm actually jealous of him being on leave, he'd enjoy that too much! I'd rather not give him the satisfaction.

Happy holidays everyone!

No way! Me too! I don't like doing that either. Good llama!
WATCH IT! -_-

Yours in writing
Benjamin

Trapped like a rat

RATS

The time had come once again. Dad looked at his little calendar, hoping it was not so- but it was indeed the first of the new month. As our tradition dictates, it had to be the last born...

So we bathed him under the leaking faucet to cleanse and prepare him. We tried to skip the bathing once but the Gods were dis-pleased, taking 2 others with the fumes before the fire died down at last. Their lungs were too small to handle that thick smog...

Number 9 was now ready for the ceremony. (Mom and Dad didn't want to get too attached so they chose those kinds of names for us. I was Number 7)

10 at night, we gathered at the holy altar of metal and plastic to receive the blessings of the Gods. We were ready, but were we prepared? We'd done this dozens of times, we knew the procedure! We had lost so many to the blue flames, piercing our eyes each and every time... Our hearts were forged in steel. We should not have been swayed after all this time, yet we wept...

Number 9 looked confused, wondering why we were in a circle. Behind cover. Wearing our little glasses, prompting him towards the cheese-coated plastic in front of him. He never was a bright one, that Number 9... Dad looked down to his little watch and whispered under his breath:

"Oh Gods of ours, whiskered and laden with thick golden fur, supply us with what we need for survival. All we ask for is simply enough, slithers of food and plenty of luck. Keep the giants, clawed and flat-footed away. Let the cheese not be poisoned, the left-overs safe..."

Then in a thunderous voice: "GO NOW NUMBER 9! EAT THE CHEESE OF VALHALLA!!!"

With a chomp of those mighty jaws, our little Number 9 had a hasty passing. I believe it is best that he did not know this was coming, all lit up like a Christmas tree. I have only heard of such behemoths though, Dad says that the giants use them to pray to their own Gods. With the sacrifice of poor little Number 9 perhaps some day I, too, shall get a glimpse of this awe inspiring 'tree' of plastic and metal...

It was at this same time that Barbara noticed the lights dim for a split second. "Stupid electrician, botched up the wiring!" - she thought to herself while watching her favourite soapy on the telly. This small inconvenience had no lasting effects on Barbara.

RAT-a Paws, the
spirit-animal of Christmas.

FIN

Well, um... Don't do drugs! Or you may come up with things like this 0_O (P.S. I wasn't doing drugs when I wrote this, I'm just strange).

To clarify, this story is about a family of rats in a roof. I know it may have been a little confusing but please bear with my need for subtlety even if it hurts with all the confusion... Barbara is a human that lives in the house below the rat family and she enjoys her television shows.

Yours in writing
Benjamin

3 is the magic number

I couldn't keep to a schedule to save my life. Perhaps if I got paid to only write new posts I could get that right, so for now you can just be happy that I'm posting more-or-less than 3 posts a week :P It is just so hard to stick to a deadline. So many school projects suffered thanks to that trait of mine... Actually, I probably had less than a 50% success rate in completing projects :( Well that's in the past. Besides - I didn't enjoy most of those subjects much anyway. The worst part was not being paid to do the things I don't like, since I started working it's a lot easier to write Emails and speak in front of strangers, I do it daily without issue. Well, without many issues...

So with Christmas right around the corner, I can't be the only one excited for my birthday, right? There'll be fireworks, cheering, birthday resolutions made for the new year... Yip, my birthday is an important day! Most people will be celebrating New Year's day, but not me! :P I'm curious as to hear what other people are excited for at the end of the old year and beginning of the new year...

Christmas COW!

I mostly look forward to seeing all my family and friends around the Christmas tree and enjoying the sights of Wilderness (where we all congregate for fun times), all the out-door activities we can do there, opening presents, and this year is especially special because of Caro's wedding :D I wonder what I'll wear? Jess already brought a stunning black dress, so whatever I choose won't compare. I guess I'll strut my T-shirt and shorts since there's no competition anyway :P

Don't worry, I'm just kidding! I'll prepare some kind of suit or something...

Lucky number 13

I see 13 as my lucky number, mostly just to spite everyone that gets superstitious easily. And besides, it has the number 3 in it! The magic number of posts per week, Magic 3. So mysterious... In fact, there are only 2 whole numbers in existence that don't have '3' in them! 1, and 2. every other number has 3. 4 = 3+1, BAM! Magic number 3. That same principal can be applied to any number above 3, just in case you were wondering.

So Happy Friday the 13th!

NOT a holiday for some reason...

Yours in writing
Benjamin