Amusement at a price

9GAG

Ignore the rubik's cube. A rubik's cube
would imply that you have to think.

Bored, not much work to do, let's browse 9GAG! Laughter, jokes, popular internet memes, YAY!
(Later that day, after some time ticks by...) Oh! 9GAG updated! Check Facebook posts, what's happening folks?

I'm sure I'm not the only one that gets swept up in these things, right? I try not to let it make my work suffer and I can easily go days without straying off the straight and narrow path, but all I need is a morning with a slow work-load to entice me to some cheap entertainment and I sink into the pit of silly jokes and overly used punch lines. I feel much better about using my time to write up new blog posts, but 9GAG and Facebook allow me the freedom of not thinking much. Time flies when you aren't thinking...
...
...

Oh right! Back to writing. So I am easily amused, that's a fact. Simple things amuse my mind, like silly jokes and small fun games. Sometimes I catch myself doing absolutely nothing in "Standby" mode, just staring into nothing-ness. That happens a lot and it really confuses people... Hahahahaha, I love it!

So the "Price" I mentioned in the title would refer, I suppose, to wasting time doing something silly. Not loads of time necessarily, but time you could be using more wisely. For instance, ending war in the Middle-East. I mean really people? Your country needs you! Forget 9GAG! It helps no-one! Alternatively you could study or be working. But it's not my place to judge... If you want to browse 9GAG or social media platforms all day then go for it, and please don't call me a hypocrite because I'm doing the same. Thanks in advance...

How far I've gotten right now...

On a side note

I'm starting a web-comic! I might post them on this Blog, but I have no due date for you yet. I'll release the first one in the next 2 weeks if I don't lose an arm before I finish it. Nothing fancy, just a four-panel comic (more-or-less) about my super-hero, Mr Immortal. It will be arbitrary with a dark sense of humour... Look forward to it! That's it for me now, have a lovely day!

Yours in writing

Benjamin 

"Customer" Vs. "Cuss-omer"

There are 3 types of people in this world:

- Self-sufficient men and women

A self-sufficient man or woman (hence-forth referred to as a "Self-sufficient person") grows their own animals and vegetables, and pays little or no heed to most of our city-slicker problems. They are not the focus in this post so I'll leave it at that.

- Customers

Customers buy things or services from businesses and both parties deal with each other using respect and understanding. Conversations are carried out in a kind and smooth back-and-forth motion which makes use of both careful and thoughtful explanations, whilst listening with intent.

- Cuss-omers

That... That's pretty accurate :P

Even though the words sound the same if you say them fast, Customers and Cuss-omers are very different. Somehow, no matter how old a Cuss-omer is, they have the ability to revert back to the mind-set of a 3-year-old in a split second. A swearing 3-year-old with an overly-developed body. 6 million years of evolution so that you can throw a tantrum because you can't have what you want? If you're a cuss-omer and you don't have any babies yet, please don't.

An easy way to spot a cuss-omer is the way they treat people. Tell-tale signs include, but are not limited to:

• Throwing toys out of their cot,
• Swearing for no good reason (there is no good reason to swear at a store's employee),
• Throwing things - your own property or otherwise,
• Not listening at all,
• Being ridiculous.

Warning! Customers may turn into cuss-omers at a moments notice, and cuss-omers sometimes pretend to be customers to fool you into being nice before they explode in your face. There isn't any tried-and-tested method to deal with cuss-omers, the best way to handle the situation is by not throwing your toys at them in return.

Oh sweet humanity...

When faced with such regressed beings I prefer to perceive them as though I'm watching Animal Planet. Don't take it personally, because they don't know whom or what to direct their anger at. That's exactly why they throw things and hurt the defenseless inanimate objects around them in their rage. Just back away and watch the show, ducking for cover when necessary...

Yours in writing
Benjamin

Life has a lot of meaning!

Therefore the meaning of life must be "A lot"! B) BOOM! Just solved the meaning of life. So! One day you will die, you need to live with it. You can't change that fact, you can only choose how you live. I for one want to have kids and just generally live a fun life before I go.

How great is that? Good perspective on life's problems.
No matter how difficult it is now, you're still alive!
So muddle through the hard times as best you can.

Try to make it interesting and do fun things while you're here won't you? Take some risks for what you want, don't be fearful or hesitant. It's really a shame to waste a good thing. Now when I say that "Life has a lot of meaning", it is really just my personal opinion... Your personal opinion may differ from mine but since you only get one life in your whole lifetime you shouldn't let it go without a fight, you shouldn't take one from someone else, and you should never give it away. In my humble opinion.

For a long while now I've pondered on my mortality and morality, I hate to lie or cheat or steal. If I went against my morality, will that weigh on my conscience for the remainder of my mortal life? They are definitely linked, and not just by 8 letters... Essentially my happiness is directly proportional to my morality because it's just so hard to be happy when you're unfaithful to yourself. I don't want a guilty conscience for even a day. I wonder if other people think about that in the same way?

Clearly not everybody does, since prisons exist and people are so often just nasty for no good reason. In a perfect world they'd all understand what they're doing to others.

Crime and questions

I wonder what is truly right and wrong in the greater scheme of things. Does a bad deed make you a bad person? I don't know, it seems to be such a grey area. Is it wrong to take one life in order to save another? I mean yes it sounds wrong to me, but if you take a life to save your own... Leaving aside human laws and religious input, how would you define good and evil? Perhaps an evil deed in your eyes is fueled solely by naivety in the perpetrator.

Then is naivety evil? Is it forgivable if you something breaks but unforgivable if a person dies because of it? So many questions. I'll get back to them later! Too much thinking, it's making my brain hurt. Well, that's me for today. Stay sane!

Yours in writing

Benjamin

Dreams (the sleepy-time kind)

Recently I've remembered my dreams quite often. Although only for a few minutes, I vaguely recall the mind-movies that my sub-conscious creates. My dreams need a new directed... They're always confusing and never have much of a plot!

Search "Dream World". Seriously. There are some cool pictures... B)

The other night I dreamed of alien life-forms and goddesses, in which I could float thanks to the Goddess' power and I became the Hulk to protect my new alien friends. A fierce battle ensued in which my friendly alien buddy protected his family and I wiped the floor with that pesky alien hating army. Wiped them out. Then I cleared away the giant's body that was in the way (no, I don't know where the dead giant came from) and it was a happy ending when I parted ways with my alien friends.
So. Damn. Confusing. But entertaining! I enjoyed that dream :P

I remembered my dream from last night as well. But now I can only remember remembering my dream... After I awoke from my slumber it happened as a glimpse, then 'poof'! Gone from my mind... Forever... Unless something jogs my memory today but I reckon it's unlikely. I also vaguely remember some flying dreams in the last few weeks, which tells me I need to learn to hang-glide before I die! Soaring among the clouds. I hate the gut-wrenching feeling of falling, whether on a roller-coaster or a road that's just too damn steep, so I wonder if I can even manage to build up the courage to fly? Yet somehow it's been consuming my mind recently, it's all I can think of if you ask me what my "dream" is. Perhaps I'll set that as a goal, take to the skies with Puka in the next year.

Okay! Before the end of 2016 I want to have my first flight in a hang-glider. You are witness to this declaration of my goal, if I fail this... Then that will be really sad. Any ideas on a punishment for failure, should I procrastinate for too long?

The guy on the left is the Hang-Glider in which I aspire to fly.
On the right is what Hang-Gliders would call a "Dangler".

Yours in writing

Benjamin

Dreams (the Goal-orientated kind)

What are my dreams in life? I don't know if I really have any of my own... Well here's what I want out of life in the next 10 years or so: To be happily married and have kids, and I'd like to be paid lots while working less. I don't dream of travelling the world, though I do have interests in learning how to scuba dive, fly a hang-glider and that's pretty much it. I wouldn't call that a dream I guess, more of a curiosity/interest.

I think I would also like to go to America for a while. That could be a lot of fun, spending time with my grand-parents as well - Puka and Grammy. If they'll have me :P

From looking at other people, dreams appear quite motivational. A goal to work towards that you can use to better yourself and even endure harsh times for. How do you give yourself a dream though? Is it as simple as deciding to give your all for something you really want? Then is somebody able to crush your dreams, or are you the only one in control? I am not sure. I know little about dreams, I just want to get rich and retire young somehow... So this post isn't a motivational one, I guess what I want to tell you all is to not let others get you down. You decide your fate in my opinion, work towards what you love. I'm going for the gold prize of retiring soon, just try your best to do what you love because that will make you happy.

If you have goals, go for them and if you have dreams, just keep dreaming until they become reality (by which I mean to keep your dreams on your mind and use them as your drive). Nobody knows your life and ambitions better than you do, so don't let others decide what's best for you.

My last word of advice would be to use caution in differentiating between dreams and interests. If you're interested in something but aren't certain it is attainable, keep it on the back-burner for now. Focus on manageable tasks. You could always decide it really is your dream to become an astronaut later in life :)

Most importantly of all, don't confuse life-goal type dreams with sleepy-time dreams. You won't fly if you jump off a building no matter how much you believe in fairies...

Don't do it Timmy!

Yours in writing
Benjamin

International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women

That's what today is. It just so happens to also be a Wednesday! You know what that means? It is the middle of the week. So! International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, from here-on referred to only once more as IDEVAW. I won't mention the acronym more than twice in this post. I recently received a flier and information sheet for "16 Days of Activism for no Violence Against Women & Children" which takes place from today until International Human Rights Day on the 10th of December.

Yes, remain calm

So I would like to say a few words on the matter, hence this blog post has been brought into existence... To start off with, I used to be a children myself. But more importantly, I have children cousins and they are adorable! And I have a lovely woman in my life that has my heart, as well as women sisters, a woman mom, my other-mother, and many more women in my family. I love them all, and I'd like to say that if anyone would dare to hurt them then they'd get to see a nasty side of me that even I haven't seen.

All humans should be thinking the same thing in my opinion. There is no excuse for violence or abuse against any other person, whether they be a woman, child or man. To treat another human with no respect or as an inferior creature really shows others what kind of degraded scum you are, because only something less than human can take joy from another person's suffering.

Well, that's all I'll say on the matter for now, I don't want my emotions to interfere with the humorous style of my words! I kid, I kid... This is an important matter that I urge everybody to think long and hard about. If you know of someone that is abused inside or outside of any relationship, by any stranger or any family member, it is up to you to report it.

Do it! Stand up and make a difference.

Alrighty then my readers, have a lovely IDEVAW day. Always keep your eyes open to what's happening around you. Being a child should not be a scary thing...

Yours in writing
Benjamin

Trapped like a rat

RATS

The time had come once again. Dad looked at his little calendar, hoping it was not so- but it was indeed the first of the new month. As our tradition dictates, it had to be the last born...

So we bathed him under the leaking faucet to cleanse and prepare him. We tried to skip the bathing once but the Gods were dis-pleased, taking 2 others with the fumes before the fire died down at last. Their lungs were too small to handle that thick smog...

Number 9 was now ready for the ceremony. (Mom and Dad didn't want to get too attached so they chose those kinds of names for us. I was Number 7)

10 at night, we gathered at the holy altar of metal and plastic to receive the blessings of the Gods. We were ready, but were we prepared? We'd done this dozens of times, we knew the procedure! We had lost so many to the blue flames, piercing our eyes each and every time... Our hearts were forged in steel. We should not have been swayed after all this time, yet we wept...

Number 9 looked confused, wondering why we were in a circle. Behind cover. Wearing our little glasses, prompting him towards the cheese-coated plastic in front of him. He never was a bright one, that Number 9... Dad looked down to his little watch and whispered under his breath:

"Oh Gods of ours, whiskered and laden with thick golden fur, supply us with what we need for survival. All we ask for is simply enough, slithers of food and plenty of luck. Keep the giants, clawed and flat-footed away. Let the cheese not be poisoned, the left-overs safe..."

Then in a thunderous voice: "GO NOW NUMBER 9! EAT THE CHEESE OF VALHALLA!!!"

With a chomp of those mighty jaws, our little Number 9 had a hasty passing. I believe it is best that he did not know this was coming, all lit up like a Christmas tree. I have only heard of such behemoths though, Dad says that the giants use them to pray to their own Gods. With the sacrifice of poor little Number 9 perhaps some day I, too, shall get a glimpse of this awe inspiring 'tree' of plastic and metal...

It was at this same time that Barbara noticed the lights dim for a split second. "Stupid electrician, botched up the wiring!" - she thought to herself while watching her favourite soapy on the telly. This small inconvenience had no lasting effects on Barbara.

RAT-a Paws, the
spirit-animal of Christmas.

FIN

Well, um... Don't do drugs! Or you may come up with things like this 0_O (P.S. I wasn't doing drugs when I wrote this, I'm just strange).

To clarify, this story is about a family of rats in a roof. I know it may have been a little confusing but please bear with my need for subtlety even if it hurts with all the confusion... Barbara is a human that lives in the house below the rat family and she enjoys her television shows.

Yours in writing
Benjamin