What's happening in my life?

Since I'm writing posts about me and the going-ons of my day to day life, and my most common reply to "What's new with you?" is "Meh..." (unless I've written a new Blog post - in which case the answer will be "I updated my Blog! Read it -_-") I find myself trying to recall what I did yesterday, or anything interesting that happened to me recently.

Gotta stop eating that Unicorn poop...

I doubt that people want to know about how badly I gagged on my tooth brush yesterday morning or how I nearly slipped on a dusty tile and nearly split my head open in the process. Don't worry! I just kicked a desk and regained my footing, and I lived. No... The stories I tell should be grand and keep you on the edge of your seat! Or better yet, make you fall OFF your seat laughing! I want to tell stories that baffle the mind and mystify the soul. I shall settle for nothing less!

Pictures Per Post

So, to the mystifying. What would be the perfect number of pictures in a Blog post? In my experience I'd have to say '2'!

Person A: "But why is it 2 Ben? What logic supports this most arbitrary number? How much research went into this? Personally, it sounds a little fishy to me. I'm starting to think that you made it up again! You appear to do that a lot, you know... Did you even Google it and read the first article you could find?"

My response: "Shut it Person A, you're just a figment of my imagination! I thought you up for the sole purpose of proving my point and you just side-tracked me from my all-important subject about pictures. That's it, I'm erasing you from my memory. Be gone!"

Person B: "That wasn't very mature Ben. Also, it didn't work! Person A has melded into my being and I, Person B, have now reached a higher state of being! Soon I shall be stronger than you and become the dominant existence in your mind. Just you wait, Benjamin Bankart, just you wait..."

Me again: "Ha! I know exactly how to destroy you, feeble mind creation! I know where you live!" - (Maniacal laughing ensues)

'THUD!'

-Ouch, my head! Did it work? I'll find out when the ringing stops :)

Back to the topic:

I usually put 2 pictures on a post so I choose 2 as the answer!
- And that's 1 more of life's greatest questions... ANSWERED

Yours in writing
Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben
Manly- Ben, Ben, Ben
(From the show Two and a half Ben)

16 and 2 quarters

So we're in the 2nd quarter of 2016. I have been sufficiently lazy to fill my quota this year (please don't judge my quota of laziness)... Truth be told, I just finally have enough co-workers again to slip some blogging time into my busy schedule. Things are going well with yours truly, and I scooped up my scattered brain enough to reach out in my long-distance relationship. I find it hard to stay in contact with people far away, just ask my dad and sister! And please let them know that I'm thinking about them. So I Emailed Jono, off on mission for his church, and he appears to be very busy indeed. He hasn't replied, which is likely because he's always doing stuff (he said so in his weekly updates), but as long as he's noticed that I'm thinking about him then I am glad :)

Speaking of Jono, he gets back in only 9 months! 2 years go by slowly if you keep looking at the time. Like a boiling pot. Jono, you are my boiling pot! And when you get home and read this, you will remember how crazy your friends are. If you forget then we might feel emotionally hurt and we will have our revenge!!!

So THAT'S how it works!

I'm just joking everybody :P I'm not psycho, just a little on the crazy-fun side but not too-crazy over-the-top. Like scary crazy! I'm not scary crazy. One of my co-workers would likely disagree, but that's only because he doesn't share my sense of humour and he thinks I may be a mass-murdering psychopath - just because I smile broadly for no reason sometimes.

Setting unrealistic standards

I realised that I'm doing that for myself. Every time that I posted a well made and thought provoking blog post then I would get great feedback... I have come to realise that the positive feedback makes me only want to use my time posting thought provoking and intellectually challenging content, otherwise it's a waste of time. Now the thing about those great posts is that they come naturally and NOT when I'm wracking my brain about making new original greatness.

Look at that thing!

Back to my roots!

What is my Blog called? "Who I am". I didn't call my blog "Mr Inflated ego" or "What I want people to see me as", so I need to write about ME and MY needs. Otherwise I won't write anything from the guilt of my unrealistic standards. Which led me to think that people really do set unrealistic standards in their own lives and for people around them, but I won't go into detail for that topic now...

Yours in writing
Ben'jammin

The list

In a desperate attempt to get my life organised this holiday season I made a "To-do" list on my arm. Every time I looked at it I remembered what I had just forgotten... My memory often fails me. I even forgot about this blog post that I started last year on lists! When I saw it again it made me remember the list I made on my arm which reminded me of the things I had to do back then. So therefore the to-do was a raging success! I rarely forgot stuff for longer than the time it took for me to glance at my arm once again. I used it back then to remind myself to buy gifts and wrap them, write letters to accommodate the prezzies and... Okay it was a long time ago. I forgot everything else I wrote on the list. But it worked at the time! Trust me, I'm a professional ;)

To-do lists are just so satisfying to comple-zZZZZ

I can do stuff I need done, just like any normal person B) I'm functional and super-cool! Here me now: "To-do lists are the way of the future!"

Speaking of the FUTURE

That box is almost square enough to use for a frame in a comic... That reminds me!

I need to make more comics in it ("it" refers to the future). I'll try to make one each month, which gives me 10 or so days to finish my current one. That should be totally do-able...

And I need to work on creating "Mr. Immortal meets Ms. Death". That can be February if I figure out what to do for it, I think Ms. Death should be a widow :P But the rest I'll figure out without giving more spoilers (for something that I don't even have a rough idea of yet). - Thank you Sean for the idea!

So in the past I've written quite a few 'Deep' posts on my more emotional and controversial topics such as: "The Meaning of Life", "Racism", and "3 is The Magic Number"... Yet, at the moment, I feel no such inclination. My mind is at peace with (most of) the world, and I am content. My emotions ain't stirring and grudges aren't burning. I like this calm! I know it won't last long, things keep changing around me and it's only a matter of time before something rubs me the wrong way. That only makes this peace so much more enjoyable because I know it's fleeting. I hope that you are also able to find peace every once in a while and take in the calm when it sweeps over you, my loyal readers.

Yours in writing
Benjamin

A short interlude

Made you read it again and again and again...
And again

Honestly, I thought I would be blogging more during this Christmas/Birthday/Wedding season. Well... Here's my delayed notice that I will be was on Hiatus for a month or so. I know it would've been better if I told you sooner, but I honestly planned to keep writing while I holidayed. But I guess life took over... (yes, I just got distracted)

Boy, that was a good holiday! Here's a breakdown of what I did in that space of time:

• Lived through every day successfully,
• Didn't die once! Honest!
• Drove a lot in one day - leaving at 5am and arriving at 11:30pm (we had many breaks along the way to Wilderness),
• Ate food,
• Slept,
• Went to Christmas with my girlfriend's family,
• Attended the AWESOME wedding of my sister and Francois on the 8th of January,
• And started working once again.

I do wish it lasted at least a little longer, though I certainly enjoyed the time that I had with my family and experienced great amounts of joy. T'was the season to be jolly after all! - Tralalalala-lala-la-la

My sister is a married woman!

Breath-taking pictures were captured on the beach.
I'm so proud to be your brother, you look beautiful!
And so do you Caro!!!

I still struggle to understand this concept. She is married, I have a bro-in-law, my mother is now a mother-in-law and MY SISTER IS A MARRIED WOMAN! Oh, I said that twice :O Wow... It blows my mind... And it's really great! If only I could see them more often. I love you my sister :D

Okay! So with this post, I'm back for good. I'll write more regularly again (hopefully) and try not to disappoint my adoring fans (that would be you).

I'M BACK BABY!
OK bye now...

Yours in writing
Benjamin

Mr. Immortal's grand entrance

Chapter 1: The non-transferable super-power

FYI: Clicking on the picture makes it larger :P

Thank you for your patience my dear readers, at last I have finished my first comic strip! I would like to thank my brain for thinking of it in the first place, and my handy hands for bringing it into this mortal plane. Oh, and my parents for keeping the electricity on :P Thanks to you two too! I shan't write much here because I made you a comic, so please feed me with compliments--- Ahem!... I mean, give me your honest feedback! Thank you kindly.

P.S. I will give you a proper Mr. Immortal logo later, don't rush me. Just let it happen at a work-able pace.

Yours in writing
Benjamin

The Wonder Drug

I don't do drugs often, but when I do it's because I'm really tired and the coffee is paid for by the business. Yes, coffee, the life blood of many adults... I'm trying to give it up but it's not that easy. People keep offering me coffee and it would be rude to just refuse, right? Well obviously! It gets quite tempting when I haven't had enough sleep as well. Coffee is irrefutably a strong energy booster and I have heard that caffeine is a drug, so I suppose it might not actually be good for you? There are many whispers of side effects... Shaking, wide eyes, spontaneous combustion, and having to pee more often! Scary stuff... Oh hold on a sec, apparently the spontaneous combustion isn't true. Well, coffee doesn't seem so bad now, does it!?

An all-you-can-eat
floor flavoured food flood

So last night I left my dog home alone. She sure showed me the error of my ways! I found muddy paw prints on my car windows. Maybe she thought I would sneak back in and hide in there? Silly dog... Then she ripped apart the bag of dog food (thankfully not a full bag). Now she has to eat dried-out dog food for the next couple days. To give you an idea of how much effort she would've gone through in this endeavor, we keep the bag of food behind those bars and the gate was locked. She reached through the bars and tore the bag past them, annihilating it in the process... Ninja, you black female dog, you have outdone yourself!

That was a pain to clean up but I reckon I did a pretty good job. I shoveled it all into that big tub in the background. Ninja just watched. SO helpful Ninja. For good measure, as you can see, she tipped the watering can over to make a third of the food soggy and gross to have to pick up. Very gross.

Not as gross as the dead bird she had on Sunday though! There's a funny story... So my woman and my friend were visiting on Sunday. I took said bird from Ninja in the back garden, kept it out of their field of vision as I walked through he lounge, cool as a cucumber, placed it in an empty box, put the box in a bag, and threw the bag in the bin outside! I'm a legend, they suspected nothing B) Just in case you're curious I don't know if she killed the bird or if it was a cat... Although I'm pretty sure it was a cat. Little murderers!

On to greater subjects!

I have procrastinated long enough! So when I get home later this evening, after cooking supper and cleaning the kitchen at last, I will try to finish my first Mr. Immortal comic strip. Don't expect anything fancy but look forward to it anyway. Or else. And be happy, I'm excited here with you! We can be excited together! Good times...

Holidays draw ever nearer

Everything gets so much weirder

Streets are empty

Houses quiet

Sweets are brought

With whimpering diets

Happy holidays my dear readers

Yours in writing

Benjamin

Creativity comes in bursts

A while ago I wrote something like 7 blog posts in one weekend. SEVAAAN! Then yesterday I had writer's block. Oh fragile mind, why do you maketh me struggle so!?

Charlie the 'Dream Machine'

I work with a Charlie. Kinda... His name is close enough to Charlie that I deem it fair to call him a Dream Machine. It's also close enough to Carl that I can say "But Carl, that kills people!" in a drawn-out naggy voice as though I were a Llama (in a hat). I have methods to my madness, I assure you! For those of you that don't know, there are ridiculous Youtube videos that you can watch to explain all. "Charlie the Unicorn" and "Llamas with hats". They have provided countless hours of entertainment, largely due to my friend 'almost-Charlie' not agreeing with being called a Dream Machine. He protests to the point of amusement. Mostly my amusement... :P Click on those links, I'm not going anywhere. But I am waiting...

The moment before everything went wrong. Just click on that link and watch it.

If your sense of humour isn't dark or twisted like mine, even a little bit, please don't blame me for making you watch Llamas with hats. They are hilarious unless you don't think so... Now! Creative bursts. You really build up a longing if you don't do creative stuff once in a while. Well - you do if you're me, because I do... So then I write, draw or do random creative things.

Building up to Christmas now, all this hype, 'almost-Carl' has gone on leave. That just leaves 'pronounced-kneel' and I alone some for a bit to manage the store. (I am omitting his real name for colleague confidentiality but to give you an idea his [or her] name is pronounced "kneel")

"That kills people!"
I don't know why you're still not watching it...

This is fine, but my friend 'almost-Charlie' was my primary source of entertainment. The crude jokes and inappropriate remarks throughout the day were a refreshing break from the usual stern professionalism which we uphold most of the time but not really... It's only been 4 hours of working without him but I can tell it'll be a long 2 weeks with him gone. For you 'almost-Carl': "Hello from the other side!". Have fun without us. I'm gonna call a thousand times. Cheers bro...

('Almost-Charlie', stop reading here!!!!!)
PSST! Don't tell 'almost-Carl' that I'm actually jealous of him being on leave, he'd enjoy that too much! I'd rather not give him the satisfaction.

Happy holidays everyone!

No way! Me too! I don't like doing that either. Good llama!
WATCH IT! -_-

Yours in writing
Benjamin