The Wonder Drug

I don't do drugs often, but when I do it's because I'm really tired and the coffee is paid for by the business. Yes, coffee, the life blood of many adults... I'm trying to give it up but it's not that easy. People keep offering me coffee and it would be rude to just refuse, right? Well obviously! It gets quite tempting when I haven't had enough sleep as well. Coffee is irrefutably a strong energy booster and I have heard that caffeine is a drug, so I suppose it might not actually be good for you? There are many whispers of side effects... Shaking, wide eyes, spontaneous combustion, and having to pee more often! Scary stuff... Oh hold on a sec, apparently the spontaneous combustion isn't true. Well, coffee doesn't seem so bad now, does it!?

An all-you-can-eat
floor flavoured food flood

So last night I left my dog home alone. She sure showed me the error of my ways! I found muddy paw prints on my car windows. Maybe she thought I would sneak back in and hide in there? Silly dog... Then she ripped apart the bag of dog food (thankfully not a full bag). Now she has to eat dried-out dog food for the next couple days. To give you an idea of how much effort she would've gone through in this endeavor, we keep the bag of food behind those bars and the gate was locked. She reached through the bars and tore the bag past them, annihilating it in the process... Ninja, you black female dog, you have outdone yourself!

That was a pain to clean up but I reckon I did a pretty good job. I shoveled it all into that big tub in the background. Ninja just watched. SO helpful Ninja. For good measure, as you can see, she tipped the watering can over to make a third of the food soggy and gross to have to pick up. Very gross.

Not as gross as the dead bird she had on Sunday though! There's a funny story... So my woman and my friend were visiting on Sunday. I took said bird from Ninja in the back garden, kept it out of their field of vision as I walked through he lounge, cool as a cucumber, placed it in an empty box, put the box in a bag, and threw the bag in the bin outside! I'm a legend, they suspected nothing B) Just in case you're curious I don't know if she killed the bird or if it was a cat... Although I'm pretty sure it was a cat. Little murderers!

On to greater subjects!

I have procrastinated long enough! So when I get home later this evening, after cooking supper and cleaning the kitchen at last, I will try to finish my first Mr. Immortal comic strip. Don't expect anything fancy but look forward to it anyway. Or else. And be happy, I'm excited here with you! We can be excited together! Good times...

Holidays draw ever nearer

Everything gets so much weirder

Streets are empty

Houses quiet

Sweets are brought

With whimpering diets

Happy holidays my dear readers

Yours in writing

Benjamin