24 March, 2015

A few days in the life...


For a good amount of time I wondered how I would start this next blog. There are many cliche openings to articles, stories, etc., of which I can remember none right now. You will get no examples from me! Besides, I might want to use them later! As you can see, for today's post I chose to open with "WORDS"! All sorts of them. How unique is that!? I bet I won't find one book starting with words. (insert confident gesture of cool confidence here). ...Dammit! The first one I checked had words. It's dumb luck I tell you!

No matter! So I am now working as a waiter in a lovely little restaurant called Picobella, right here in Melville. Lovely Italian food, I've yet to receive a complaint! And I'm already on day 2 after my week of training ;) Seriously though, everyone loves the food.

My single gripe with the management of the place is that we don't get payed an hourly rate or commission, we work for tips. It doesn't bother me untill someone asks me to do something over and above serving my paying customers, since it feels like they are only allowing me to earn money there using their facilities, products and services... Okay, but they don't directly put money in my pocket (I don't mean literally, that'd be a bit too intimate). Now I just feel awkward, what was my point? Anyway, I don't really know how I feel about my job there, but I enjoy it. Also, the people that work with me are usually very nice and thought-full. So I just feel I have a strange relationship with my bosses, more like I work 'with' them than 'for' them.

They have put me on a very strenuous number of shifts, with a total of - wait for it... TWENTY. FOUR. GRUELING. HOURS. PER. WEEK! Yeah... 3 day shifts, Monday through to Wednesday. It's gonna be tough.

So! More time for some of this (hobbies and studies), some of that (games and T.V. shows [all sorts of 'em]), and a little bit of those (moments to spend with my woman). If schedules permit, then I'll most likely change the order to: Lots of those, some of that, and a little bit of this! Woohoo!

Most of all I enjoy spending time with my girlfriend, doing very little or nothing at all. I am content to simply be in her company. Perhaps talking a bit, but she's the chatty one in the relationship. I will post a picture of her here, and perhaps one day, she will read this blog and become very embarrassed. *Insert innocent smiling face here*

Some background info on our relationship - we met and started dating 5 years ago in high school when she asked me out to go see a movie. We had our first kiss after 2 years (I know what you're gonna say. Perhaps we should have waited longer, it's not good to rush a relationship, but we were young and the romance took us in the moment). She has strawberry blonde hair, green and blue eyes, and a face with cheeks, ears, a mouth- such beautiful features.
That's all you need to know about my love life.

My woman, Priscilla, riding a swing at Gold Reef City

Oh! Yesterday I made improvised crumpets for myself and my banting family, using eggs and bananas! They were strangely shaped and some looked burnt but they tasted great. Here's the recipe:

Ingredients: 2 eggs, 1 banana, some butter.

Step 1: Mash your bananas up as finely as you can and mix well with the eggs.
Step 2: Fry 'em up in the butter.
Step 3: Eat.
Step 4: You know, the way you normally eat crumpets.
Step 5: I put on peanut butter and tomato sauce.
Step 6: No, not on the same crumpets!
Step 7: We didn't have any syrup, honey or stuff other than peanut butter and tomato sauce in the cupboards, so I used what was at hand.
Step 8: Say: "Yummy! Gotta thank Ben for this recipe!".
Step 9: Type up a comment under this post saying: "Yummy! Thanks for this recipe!".
Step 10: Press the 'Enter' key and whatever else you have to press to send the comment, whilst giving a g+1 so more people are blessed with this recipe.
Step 11: Continue with your life.
Step 12: Live long and prosper. Marry a beautiful woman/man, have a few kids named Thomas, Jeremiah, and Susan (I just like the name Susan, okay?), get a nice house on a hill and a Ferrari, and retire before the age of 45. (Ferrari is optional)

To shorten the recipe to only five or so minutes, ignore steps 3 through 12. I know it's a long recipe but it tastes really good. Trust me! And when you think: "Hey, this doesn't taste like crumpets! It tastes like banana! and the texture's all wrong!", just remember that half the ingredients are banana (unlike normal crumpets) and exactly all of the ingredients were not flour, so it won't have quite the same texture as you may expect. If it makes you feel better you can pick a flower from the garden, tear it up, and add it to your pre-cooked mixture to fuel your delusion of eating real crumpets. It won't help unless you truly believe! Just to be clear, I don't recommend using real flowers... They could be poisonous, have bugs in them, or just taste gross.

Our crumpets were so good, a Ninja snuck into the kitchen, reached on top of the counter and ate half of them while we were out. True story. We yelled at Ninja and put her outside. Ninja is the name of our dog:

Ninja trying desperately to tell the cat she loves her

That was a fun post! (Here's a little secret, even though I procrastinate, I enjoy typing. Tell no-one!!!)

THE END

4 comments:

  1. I ate the crumpets. They were, in fact, very tasty. Very funny post - much involuntary giggling occurred!

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  2. "Yummy! Thanks for this recipe!"
    Actually, I've made these. It was a long time ago, and they were very tasty...
    And you, brother, are a VERY funny man. I laughed out loud a few times, for real! Looking forward to the next post. :D

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  3. Now I definitely am ready to leave this world - ALL my grandchildren writing so well? Who could ask for more? And yes...I laughed more than once! And there was no-one to even hear me and say "What are you reading?":-)!! Love the writing - love you !!

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    Replies
    1. Please don't plan to leave too soon 😳

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