STRESS!!!

Sorry, I know that the title is quite alarming.

That intense tightness in your chest, those heightened senses that you're experiencing this very moment... All caused by your stress levels rising from the shock and horror of my post title. Your mind wonders: "What!? Where will this stress come from? This is distressing! What if I'm not ready? Can it be avoided!? What the hell is going on!?" but just calm down! You'll be A-OKAY! Your life is in no immediate danger. Except perhaps a STRESS INDUCED HEART ATTACK!

If you have yet to have a heart attack from all the stress and uncertainty which I have caused thus far, you're probably going to be fine. The first paragraph is always the worst... Well done dear reader, you are one of the strong ones. A true survivor. A role model for all of us! Kudos to you! Everybody else that survived that, please give this individual an applause! (sounds of whistling and ecstatic clapping ensues)

Ways  to handle stress:

If there is something trying to kill you, then stress is good! A moment of heightened tension is healthy when it helps you to survive, and it is literally healthy for your body to experience a little adrenaline once in a while. Continued stress levels all day every day wears on your mind and body, and that is bad. End of story. (but not blog post)

Expect the unexpected.

Always expect and prepare for everything, and you will never be caught off guard. In case you cannot prepare for every eventuality, please take the following steps under advisement:

• DON'T PANIC!
• If you find yourself stressed out, breath in long deep breaths. This stops you from hyperventilating and keeps your feet on the ground. It should help you to calm down a little.
• Look around you, observe your surroundings! You may notice that the situation isn't as bad as you initially thought. Are there any Bunnies nearby? No. You're safe. Nothing is trying to kill you right now.
• Remember to keep your towel with you at all times. They have so many uses, you'd be a fool to leave home without it.
• Lastly, relax! Don't be stressin' for little things, just be happy. Look at what you've got - family, friends, chocolate, an internet connection... What more could you want!?

"Don't wo-rry!

Be ha-ppy!

'cause every little thing... Is gonna be alright!

Do do do dooo do do do!" - Bobby McFerrin

I'd like to make a quick "Thank you" to all my lovely readers (yes, you!). Thank you for helping me reach 1,000 page views at 10pm last Friday night, I couldn't have done it without you! Okay well technically I could have, but it would have taken a butt load of clicks and I'd probably have gotten bored really quickly! :P

So long!
Brother-lady, out

The meaning of life, the universe and blog posts

Write a meaningful post? Sure I can do that!

Hm... What's happening here? Almost every time I try to write a meaningful post that will benefit all of mankind, I draw a blank. I have no idea if what I write is considered meaningful, what do other people find meaning in? As an individual reader, do I connect with you through my monologue every time? Do I give you the feeling that I know what I'm talking about? Do all my rhetorical questions lined up in a row like this confuse you? Don't answer that...

Am I right!? Such a pain when people do that, what's their problem?

Perhaps everything I write has meaning to somebody. If one person reads a post on my blog and feels they can relate, then that's enough to make it worth while. That's the thought that drives me on (well, there's that and my insatiable desires for fame and recognition). Positive feedback is so damn motivating! And all the page views I get are definitely positive. My day normally consists of me writing a blog post in the morning, spell-checking it a bunch of times, confirming that my grammar is correct, and then adjusting the format and layout until I am completely satisfied! It takes time, but when I'm done I post it and wait! - Yes, I also have a job, so I work on my blog in the little free moments that I can grab.

And then I wait. And wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait... For the view count updates, refreshing my web page every few seconds! And looking for new comments! I love comments so damn much! That would be my deep desire and overwhelming thirst for attention shining through. Hold up, I'm just gonna put a lid on it. *POP!

Agh man, the lid was not powerful enough to hold my ever-growing ego! It consumes me!... I REALLY need to exercise some constraint here. Or even just exercise. I am far too un-fit... Sorry, I've gone a little bit off track! What was I talking about? Oh yes! You! Only 2 days ago I was flabbergasted to find how many people read my blog, I had 126 page views over the course of the day, which made around 1/6th of my all-time views! Did I do something right? Did someone else do something right on my behalf? I guess I'll never know...

Anyways, that made me as happy as a kid in a candy shop! Without parental supervision!

Topic change

I change topics so often that I'm never sure where I started... And I love it! I can talk about whatever I please, nothing can stop me! Mwahahaha! Well- Actually, you probably could. If my random topic changes are irritating enough and people start to boycott my blog then I'd have to stop. Stop changing the topic at my every whim, stop writing my blog, stop breathing... It could put me into a dark place. I like this blog! And I like you <--- No, I'm not just saying that to keep you reading, perish the thought!

Abrupt ending, ACTIVATE!

Hehe, bye bye!

Yours truly

Mr Ben - (I'm just about out of fresh names to call myself)

Ads! Ad why not?

Yay, give me money!

Nah, I don't have a cold, I'm just being 'punny'. So I enjoy writing on this blog of mine, and in doing so I get the feeling I'm giving it life. So I'm gonna add ads to it and hopefully earn a little income here. Why not? I hope they don't inconvenience you at all, I'll give it a test run and if it doesn't work out I'll change back. Any concerns from my valuable readers? I'm pretty much set on the idea though. So hey! I've received over 700 page views! Thanks guys, whomever reads this, you make this endeavor very exciting (especially the occasional new comment, I get really hyped! Truly, thanks guys!).

Now allow me to make a change of topic.

Jessica!

-My beautiful girlfriend (left)
-Her older sister (right)

She doesn't like her name, but I do. I think it's a wonderful name! She makes me so happy whenever I see her or hear her voice, Jess you're amazing! Now you're not hi-jacking my blog, I love you with all my heart so please don't be discouraged when I'm not writing about you!

Here is a quick question that I've pondered at times:

"Do I love you because you're beautiful,

Or are you beautiful because I love you?" - Oscar Hammerstein II

P.S. I don't know who the man is but I really like that quote so I stole it. Viciously and without mercy. So bad-ass... He may have the credit though! well done Mr. Hammerstein II.

My epic sister!

Drawn by the amazing,
the hairy! (Unless shaven) - Francois Swart

My sister, Caroline, is releasing a book! It'll be coming out on the 2nd of November and it's so exciting, I can't wait to own my copy! Her children's book is aptly named "Carrie the Limping Lion", and it explains the struggles that children suffering from arthritis face, just as she did when she was younger. You can pre-order it and read up on it on her blog page, Caroline's Content, so please do so if you're interested! If you're not interested, read it anyway and become interested.

A note of thanks:

Google, I would like to show my appreciation for the continued use of your fabulous search engine for my blogging endeavors. Without you, I wouldn't know of Oscar Hammerstein's quote. I wouldn't have pretty and funny pictures in my blog, and it would be so hard to use all the big words I use so frequently! I increase my vocabulary and spelling accuracy with each post :)

My friends, keep being bad-ass! Every day!

Yours in writing,

Mr. B.