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| Fatal I say! Now go wear something else... |
I promise! But I like change. If I have the choice to do something completely different to what I'm doing now, I'll probably take the opportunity. For example, I was waitering. Now I'm not waitering anymore! Because I got the chance to do something else. To be fair, I actually hated waitering by the end of it... I'm looking forward to moving out as well, and having a place to myself. Well, out of my
parents' house. That is an exciting idea, funds are the only issue at this point. I need a better paying job, or I need my job to pay better.
The power which the past holds over me
I don't think about the past often and I don't dwell on it. Just as I've been a waiter, I took the life lessons away from doing that and I implement the skills that I've acquired for doing better in my current job. I even use those people skills in every day social interactions, they're built into my sub-conscious! I don't think about how I'll greet people like I used to, or worry about calling up businesses for things and talking to strangers. If someone acts negatively or aggressively to me I'll deal with the situations as they arise. In my opinion, to truly accept change you need to let go of what you had before. You can't live in the past and still enjoy what you have in the now!
I may be a special case though. I have lived a fortunate and privileged life, that's true. I thank the heavens for that blessing. So I don't think of the past much... In fact I often find myself forgetting things that used to be important or relevant to me after just a few weeks, as though my mind decides that there is more important info to record. A distant example would be the hamster that died when I was younger! I heard from my friend from way back then that I cried for the poor thing and had a burial! I did NOT remember that, I only remember finding it lifeless in its cage-thingy.
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| If you view life as a book :P |
Remembering sad or saddening things is not in my skill set. Recently someone very close to me told me that she doesn't think she's beautiful because of what bullies told her in the first 3 years of school. I can't wrap my head around why that still bothers her, I was bullied too in school but that was a lifetime ago! No really... I don't mean I've gotten old, perish the thought! But I've completely changed. As humans, we change to survive! Day to day, year to year, we change our thinking and undergo physical changes as well. I used to be tiny and adorable, I hated work and I didn't talk to people because they scared me. Today I have some great friends that I can depend on to the end, I got tall and less adorable, and I talk to people a lot! Every day! Well, almost every day... I still hate having to work, but I have accepted it as a necessary evil. Because I like buying nice things :D
So what hold do those sad children have from 10 or 15 years ago? Absolutely none! They didn't even insult me, they insulted a scared little kid whom was insecure about his intelligence and looks. They were mean to someone else, even if that person was in my body. So hold your head high, nobody is the same person that they were yesterday!
Go forth now human, and be confident in your path no matter the hurdles you face!
Yours in writing
Benjamin
