The Wonder Drug

I don't do drugs often, but when I do it's because I'm really tired and the coffee is paid for by the business. Yes, coffee, the life blood of many adults... I'm trying to give it up but it's not that easy. People keep offering me coffee and it would be rude to just refuse, right? Well obviously! It gets quite tempting when I haven't had enough sleep as well. Coffee is irrefutably a strong energy booster and I have heard that caffeine is a drug, so I suppose it might not actually be good for you? There are many whispers of side effects... Shaking, wide eyes, spontaneous combustion, and having to pee more often! Scary stuff... Oh hold on a sec, apparently the spontaneous combustion isn't true. Well, coffee doesn't seem so bad now, does it!?

An all-you-can-eat
floor flavoured food flood

So last night I left my dog home alone. She sure showed me the error of my ways! I found muddy paw prints on my car windows. Maybe she thought I would sneak back in and hide in there? Silly dog... Then she ripped apart the bag of dog food (thankfully not a full bag). Now she has to eat dried-out dog food for the next couple days. To give you an idea of how much effort she would've gone through in this endeavor, we keep the bag of food behind those bars and the gate was locked. She reached through the bars and tore the bag past them, annihilating it in the process... Ninja, you black female dog, you have outdone yourself!

That was a pain to clean up but I reckon I did a pretty good job. I shoveled it all into that big tub in the background. Ninja just watched. SO helpful Ninja. For good measure, as you can see, she tipped the watering can over to make a third of the food soggy and gross to have to pick up. Very gross.

Not as gross as the dead bird she had on Sunday though! There's a funny story... So my woman and my friend were visiting on Sunday. I took said bird from Ninja in the back garden, kept it out of their field of vision as I walked through he lounge, cool as a cucumber, placed it in an empty box, put the box in a bag, and threw the bag in the bin outside! I'm a legend, they suspected nothing B) Just in case you're curious I don't know if she killed the bird or if it was a cat... Although I'm pretty sure it was a cat. Little murderers!

On to greater subjects!

I have procrastinated long enough! So when I get home later this evening, after cooking supper and cleaning the kitchen at last, I will try to finish my first Mr. Immortal comic strip. Don't expect anything fancy but look forward to it anyway. Or else. And be happy, I'm excited here with you! We can be excited together! Good times...

Holidays draw ever nearer

Everything gets so much weirder

Streets are empty

Houses quiet

Sweets are brought

With whimpering diets

Happy holidays my dear readers

Yours in writing

Benjamin

Creativity comes in bursts

A while ago I wrote something like 7 blog posts in one weekend. SEVAAAN! Then yesterday I had writer's block. Oh fragile mind, why do you maketh me struggle so!?

Charlie the 'Dream Machine'

I work with a Charlie. Kinda... His name is close enough to Charlie that I deem it fair to call him a Dream Machine. It's also close enough to Carl that I can say "But Carl, that kills people!" in a drawn-out naggy voice as though I were a Llama (in a hat). I have methods to my madness, I assure you! For those of you that don't know, there are ridiculous Youtube videos that you can watch to explain all. "Charlie the Unicorn" and "Llamas with hats". They have provided countless hours of entertainment, largely due to my friend 'almost-Charlie' not agreeing with being called a Dream Machine. He protests to the point of amusement. Mostly my amusement... :P Click on those links, I'm not going anywhere. But I am waiting...

The moment before everything went wrong. Just click on that link and watch it.

If your sense of humour isn't dark or twisted like mine, even a little bit, please don't blame me for making you watch Llamas with hats. They are hilarious unless you don't think so... Now! Creative bursts. You really build up a longing if you don't do creative stuff once in a while. Well - you do if you're me, because I do... So then I write, draw or do random creative things.

Building up to Christmas now, all this hype, 'almost-Carl' has gone on leave. That just leaves 'pronounced-kneel' and I alone some for a bit to manage the store. (I am omitting his real name for colleague confidentiality but to give you an idea his [or her] name is pronounced "kneel")

"That kills people!"
I don't know why you're still not watching it...

This is fine, but my friend 'almost-Charlie' was my primary source of entertainment. The crude jokes and inappropriate remarks throughout the day were a refreshing break from the usual stern professionalism which we uphold most of the time but not really... It's only been 4 hours of working without him but I can tell it'll be a long 2 weeks with him gone. For you 'almost-Carl': "Hello from the other side!". Have fun without us. I'm gonna call a thousand times. Cheers bro...

('Almost-Charlie', stop reading here!!!!!)
PSST! Don't tell 'almost-Carl' that I'm actually jealous of him being on leave, he'd enjoy that too much! I'd rather not give him the satisfaction.

Happy holidays everyone!

No way! Me too! I don't like doing that either. Good llama!
WATCH IT! -_-

Yours in writing
Benjamin

3 is the magic number

I couldn't keep to a schedule to save my life. Perhaps if I got paid to only write new posts I could get that right, so for now you can just be happy that I'm posting more-or-less than 3 posts a week :P It is just so hard to stick to a deadline. So many school projects suffered thanks to that trait of mine... Actually, I probably had less than a 50% success rate in completing projects :( Well that's in the past. Besides - I didn't enjoy most of those subjects much anyway. The worst part was not being paid to do the things I don't like, since I started working it's a lot easier to write Emails and speak in front of strangers, I do it daily without issue. Well, without many issues...

So with Christmas right around the corner, I can't be the only one excited for my birthday, right? There'll be fireworks, cheering, birthday resolutions made for the new year... Yip, my birthday is an important day! Most people will be celebrating New Year's day, but not me! :P I'm curious as to hear what other people are excited for at the end of the old year and beginning of the new year...

Christmas COW!

I mostly look forward to seeing all my family and friends around the Christmas tree and enjoying the sights of Wilderness (where we all congregate for fun times), all the out-door activities we can do there, opening presents, and this year is especially special because of Caro's wedding :D I wonder what I'll wear? Jess already brought a stunning black dress, so whatever I choose won't compare. I guess I'll strut my T-shirt and shorts since there's no competition anyway :P

Don't worry, I'm just kidding! I'll prepare some kind of suit or something...

Lucky number 13

I see 13 as my lucky number, mostly just to spite everyone that gets superstitious easily. And besides, it has the number 3 in it! The magic number of posts per week, Magic 3. So mysterious... In fact, there are only 2 whole numbers in existence that don't have '3' in them! 1, and 2. every other number has 3. 4 = 3+1, BAM! Magic number 3. That same principal can be applied to any number above 3, just in case you were wondering.

So Happy Friday the 13th!

NOT a holiday for some reason...

Yours in writing
Benjamin

Happy heritage day

Wave a flag and
do it for your country!

Heritage day, braai day... Happy Holiday!

I hope you have the loveliest holiday my loveliest readers, try to do lovely family stuff! I'm going to my cousin's house later today for family fun time.

The Ad ordeal!

So it turns out I need a bunch of things to get approval for adverts. Who knew it was so complicated?

1. A privacy policy! (Which I did, it's right there at the top of my page. Read about your privacy on my page! Go on, click on it. Just do it, you know you want to...)
2. An "About us" page! I don't have anybody writing with me, so it's an "About me" page. Click on that too!
3. A "Contact us" page. Once again, only me! So... You know the deal, click it!
4. Interesting, useful content... Hm... That's up to my readers to decide! So? Do you enjoy reading my blog? Does it interest you? Why do you read on? Answer these questions and more in the comments below! Please, I'm desperate for feedback XD
5. Actually I know it's good. I'm not just patting myself on the back here, I'd read my blog. It has all the stuff I find interesting, it's a match made in heaven!
6. I need a unique URL. But... But why? What's that all about? I happen to think "Blogspot" looks very professional! Meh, I'll figure it out. I have lots of helpful people that want to help me in helpful ways, thanks guys :)



Yet...

7. Lastly (if I haven't forgotten anything), I'm told that I should have at least 50 posts on my page. 50, 15, sounds close enough! And my posts need to average on at least 200 words. I only have one that doesn't, and that would be my "How long is a blog post?" post. It only had roughly 150 words! Gasp, so few! Honestly, I don't know how I kept myself from writing more. I suppose I was just stubbornly sticking to my short topic that time. And that doesn't happen often!

Anyways, you don't need to worry about ads on this post for a while. At least not until I get my blogging life in order! Hehehe :P

A night on the town

Yesterday my friend, Mr C, took me to Fordsburg to try and find a really cool knife that he told me about. A pocket knife the size of a credit card, and it even has a ruler! Pretty cool sounding knife! So we drove there after work but alas, we were too late... That vendor had packed up and left. So instead we went to eat pizza at Pizza Hut! We each had a large pepperoni pizza and half of an unholy chocolate pizza. The stuff of nightmares I tell you, it was tiny and deadly! Terrible chocolaty death...

So great!

The Pizza hut! Why it's shaped like a UFO, God only knows...

We shared laughs, pizza, and above all we had a good time. I loved the cashiers reaction when we made the order, she asked: "So you're having an entire large pizza each... AND a chocolate pizza!?" to which I calmly replied "Yes, thank you." And for the order, I gave her the name... Benjaman XD It was funny for me, I don't think she noticed anything out of the ordinary though...

Happy holiday-ing kind reader

Bye bye

Benjaaay!