STRESS!!!

Sorry, I know that the title is quite alarming.

That intense tightness in your chest, those heightened senses that you're experiencing this very moment... All caused by your stress levels rising from the shock and horror of my post title. Your mind wonders: "What!? Where will this stress come from? This is distressing! What if I'm not ready? Can it be avoided!? What the hell is going on!?" but just calm down! You'll be A-OKAY! Your life is in no immediate danger. Except perhaps a STRESS INDUCED HEART ATTACK!

If you have yet to have a heart attack from all the stress and uncertainty which I have caused thus far, you're probably going to be fine. The first paragraph is always the worst... Well done dear reader, you are one of the strong ones. A true survivor. A role model for all of us! Kudos to you! Everybody else that survived that, please give this individual an applause! (sounds of whistling and ecstatic clapping ensues)

Ways  to handle stress:

If there is something trying to kill you, then stress is good! A moment of heightened tension is healthy when it helps you to survive, and it is literally healthy for your body to experience a little adrenaline once in a while. Continued stress levels all day every day wears on your mind and body, and that is bad. End of story. (but not blog post)

Expect the unexpected.

Always expect and prepare for everything, and you will never be caught off guard. In case you cannot prepare for every eventuality, please take the following steps under advisement:

• DON'T PANIC!
• If you find yourself stressed out, breath in long deep breaths. This stops you from hyperventilating and keeps your feet on the ground. It should help you to calm down a little.
• Look around you, observe your surroundings! You may notice that the situation isn't as bad as you initially thought. Are there any Bunnies nearby? No. You're safe. Nothing is trying to kill you right now.
• Remember to keep your towel with you at all times. They have so many uses, you'd be a fool to leave home without it.
• Lastly, relax! Don't be stressin' for little things, just be happy. Look at what you've got - family, friends, chocolate, an internet connection... What more could you want!?

"Don't wo-rry!

Be ha-ppy!

'cause every little thing... Is gonna be alright!

Do do do dooo do do do!" - Bobby McFerrin

I'd like to make a quick "Thank you" to all my lovely readers (yes, you!). Thank you for helping me reach 1,000 page views at 10pm last Friday night, I couldn't have done it without you! Okay well technically I could have, but it would have taken a butt load of clicks and I'd probably have gotten bored really quickly! :P

So long!
Brother-lady, out

Bunnies, the more-or-less true facts.

The truth about the secret lives of Bunnies

The name "Bunnies", taken from the Spanish, Latin, Japanese and English phrase: "Timetus Mortem de la Muerte Shinu DIE DIE DIE!" are well known for their unnecessarily vicious nature. As a merciless hunting tactic they feign weakness in the face of predators. These predators will normally get them confused with Wabbits, the perfectly harmless and vegan sub-species of Bunnies.

Bunnies are notorious for their vicious hawk-like talons, razor sharp fangs and fluffy multi-coloured fur of death (from white to pitch black and all those colours in-between. Including but not limited to; brown, light brown, dark brown and cream. And red. But only when bathing in the blood of their victims...). They never back down from a fight! Slaying lions, birds of prey and game hunters by the thousands every year...

Not a real picture of a Bunny -
Photoshop representation of an
artists interpretation of a Bunny,
using a Wabbit in place of certain death. 

An artists interpretation
of what they might look like,
since no-one has lived to tell the tale
after encountering these vicious beasties.

HAPPY EASTER!

And happy birthday my dear sister Kathryn! Have a great 20th birthday! I love you SO much!

P.S. It's not actually Easter... Sorry if you got excited.

P.S. for the first P.S. Sorry if the realisation that Easter is not upon us has caused you a great deal of stress, for ways to handle that stress please refer to my next blog post entitled: "STRESS!!!" which will be available to read tomorrow. Just bear it until then...

For more information on Bunnies and how to avoid certain death in their presence, please ask in the comments. Disclaimer: Avoiding certain death is not a possibility when in the presence of Bunnies, they will destroy you without fail. I would recommend dropping dead quickly and painlessly, because they will want make you suffer. They are evil.

I would like to do requests as well, please place the name of any animal which you'd like to know more about in the comments. I will consider them! If they are in fact boring animals that are not worth my time, I will most likely not write a post about them.

Yours truly
Brother Man