Trapped like a rat

RATS

The time had come once again. Dad looked at his little calendar, hoping it was not so- but it was indeed the first of the new month. As our tradition dictates, it had to be the last born...

So we bathed him under the leaking faucet to cleanse and prepare him. We tried to skip the bathing once but the Gods were dis-pleased, taking 2 others with the fumes before the fire died down at last. Their lungs were too small to handle that thick smog...

Number 9 was now ready for the ceremony. (Mom and Dad didn't want to get too attached so they chose those kinds of names for us. I was Number 7)

10 at night, we gathered at the holy altar of metal and plastic to receive the blessings of the Gods. We were ready, but were we prepared? We'd done this dozens of times, we knew the procedure! We had lost so many to the blue flames, piercing our eyes each and every time... Our hearts were forged in steel. We should not have been swayed after all this time, yet we wept...

Number 9 looked confused, wondering why we were in a circle. Behind cover. Wearing our little glasses, prompting him towards the cheese-coated plastic in front of him. He never was a bright one, that Number 9... Dad looked down to his little watch and whispered under his breath:

"Oh Gods of ours, whiskered and laden with thick golden fur, supply us with what we need for survival. All we ask for is simply enough, slithers of food and plenty of luck. Keep the giants, clawed and flat-footed away. Let the cheese not be poisoned, the left-overs safe..."

Then in a thunderous voice: "GO NOW NUMBER 9! EAT THE CHEESE OF VALHALLA!!!"

With a chomp of those mighty jaws, our little Number 9 had a hasty passing. I believe it is best that he did not know this was coming, all lit up like a Christmas tree. I have only heard of such behemoths though, Dad says that the giants use them to pray to their own Gods. With the sacrifice of poor little Number 9 perhaps some day I, too, shall get a glimpse of this awe inspiring 'tree' of plastic and metal...

It was at this same time that Barbara noticed the lights dim for a split second. "Stupid electrician, botched up the wiring!" - she thought to herself while watching her favourite soapy on the telly. This small inconvenience had no lasting effects on Barbara.

RAT-a Paws, the
spirit-animal of Christmas.

FIN

Well, um... Don't do drugs! Or you may come up with things like this 0_O (P.S. I wasn't doing drugs when I wrote this, I'm just strange).

To clarify, this story is about a family of rats in a roof. I know it may have been a little confusing but please bear with my need for subtlety even if it hurts with all the confusion... Barbara is a human that lives in the house below the rat family and she enjoys her television shows.

Yours in writing
Benjamin

It's all fun and games

Until somebody gets hurt... Then it's hilarious! But only if it isn't serious - unless it is really serious but not actually really serious. I think. I'm confusing myself now... What I'm saying is that I have a nasty sense of humour sometimes.

I don't actually take joy from people being in pain, I'm not a sadist or an evil mastermind/alien bent on destroying all humans. I just find funny things funny! So if someone trips on their shoe-laces and falls flat on their face but gets up afterwards, I will laugh. A lot. I might not stop laughing until their face is healed up and I forget about the ordeal. Sorry! But not really. Bwahahahaha!

The Alien I mentioned before. Good game series.

I wouldn't dream of hurting someone, getting them to land on their face intentionally or anything. That would make me a nasty person and I don't want to be nasty... I like being liked and I'm very much a people-pleaser!

How about some poetry...

We copulate and populate, filling all the cracks

Human beings everywhere, saying this and that.

Living to the fullest, or putting others down

Life is short and meaningful, so live it loud and proud.

Live as an example to yourself, the strangers, all

Show them what you're living for to make them want it more.

Peace out (Drops mic.)

Life isn't all fun and games, the world can be a scary place. But that doesn't give you any right as an individual to make it worse for those around you!

Live respectably now!
Yours in writing
Benjamin

Memories for a lifetime

Some people have really good memories. As I've stated before, I do not. I can't even remember what I had for breakfast 3 days ago or the hair colours of all my friends. I could take a guess but I don't actually recall the colour of someone's hair or eyes unless I make special note of it. The same goes for faces. If you asked me to give you the description of someone I know then it will likely be missing most of the important features, like if they have a nose or chin? I couldn't say...

I'm so FANCY!

So a good way to record memories would logically be by taking pictures and videos as often as you can! I went for a photo shoot with my girlfriend, her sister, and her sister's boyfriend on Saturday afternoon. I was looking forward to that quite excitedly, since we were all dressing up nice and fancy-looking. Well, kinda fancy I suppose. I wore a black shirt and blue jeans with my best shoes. They're black and formal-looking, and even have quite a heel on them. Gives me that extra inch or 2 so that I can make everyone feel shorter. I'm not short myself so I feel a little bad going up to 6' 3" or however high they make me.

The photo shoot was a lot of fun! I drove all the way to Pretoria to get to the golf course estate which we arranged to do the shoot at. After the sister's photos were taken (so about 1 hour later :P) we had group photos and then couple photos, with a Disney theme in mind for Jess and I. It really was quite fun! Twirling and swirling, sitting and kissing. I'm looking forward to seeing how they come out, and Jess looked positively amazing in that dress with the light make-up applied. I will post a picture here when I have one available :D


Ah yes, memories to keep for a lifetime... On the other hand, I don't carry a camera wherever I go. I don't like pulling out my phone to take a snap shot or interrupting the beautiful moments that I want to capture. I prefer to enjoy them and just struggle to remember them later! And anyway, I don't sit and browse through old pictures often enough for it to be worth while. So I'll leave it as a problem for the older me that might lose his memory, but I'm hoping he/I won't...

A Facebook page for my Blog posts

I made a page on Facebook to promote my blog! So I decided to shamelessly promote my Facebook page here so that you can like it, thereby getting Facebook updates for my new posts from my blog. Please and thank you! I have created this page because I was afraid my only activity on that social network - posting links to this blog - may have been getting on my family and friend's nerves. So I allow my readers to follow me willingly by liking my page instead of forcing it down their throats when they visit Facebook :P

Then I sent requests to everyone on my contact list to like my new page ;) Not forcing down throats, just asking nicely!

Fare thee well.
Yours in writing
Benjamin

Cats kill? Can't complain.

This morning I found a present in the bathroom, un-wrapped! Cats are sloppy when it comes to giving Christmas presents.

Firstly. It's mid-November. What the hell, cat! You're a month too early.
Secondly. You couldn't find some wrapping paper to keep the gift in!?
Thirdly. Consumables should be acquired close to the date, or kept in the freezer or fridge so that they don't spoil. Not the bathroom floor...
Fourthly. I don't want a dead bird, none of the humans want a dead bird. We'd be happier with a dead rat or a Parktown Prawn's legs.

So please, cats, put some thought into your little gifts - and just don't. It's better if you just don't. For all our sake's and the tiny animal kingdom, you'd be doing us a favour if you don't kill most of those little critters. Especially the winged ones!

On the topic of dangerous creatures:

Killer Copper Cars

BEWARE!

I know what you're thinking. "What? Cars aren't sentient! You're full of nonsense!"

Cars that look like this! BEWARE!

You're only half wrong. Cars can be sentient! I've beheld this with my minds eye, they take on a will of their own... Like Transformers! But with less of the 'All Spark' and more of the 'Grudges of a thousand Souls wrongly accused in the past!'. So be careful fellow drivers, they look just like cop cars. They flash their flashy blue and red lights with their sirens on and indicate for you to pull over. When you've parked on the side of the road they turn off the sirens and lights and lie in wait... Slowly your impatience grows, until you decide it was some kind of mistake. But as soon as you start driving-BEE-BOO-BEE-BOO!!! So you pull back to the side and wait. When you've finally gotten irritated enough that you get out of the car to ask them what they want with you, BAM! Hit-and-run. So please. PLEASE! Don't step out of the vehicle, it's safe in there. Cop cars are evil and filled with malice. Don't become a victim of Authoritayis-vehiculeious murder. Be cautious of the authoritay.

Stay safe folks!
Yours in writing
Benjamin

3 is the magic number

I couldn't keep to a schedule to save my life. Perhaps if I got paid to only write new posts I could get that right, so for now you can just be happy that I'm posting more-or-less than 3 posts a week :P It is just so hard to stick to a deadline. So many school projects suffered thanks to that trait of mine... Actually, I probably had less than a 50% success rate in completing projects :( Well that's in the past. Besides - I didn't enjoy most of those subjects much anyway. The worst part was not being paid to do the things I don't like, since I started working it's a lot easier to write Emails and speak in front of strangers, I do it daily without issue. Well, without many issues...

So with Christmas right around the corner, I can't be the only one excited for my birthday, right? There'll be fireworks, cheering, birthday resolutions made for the new year... Yip, my birthday is an important day! Most people will be celebrating New Year's day, but not me! :P I'm curious as to hear what other people are excited for at the end of the old year and beginning of the new year...

Christmas COW!

I mostly look forward to seeing all my family and friends around the Christmas tree and enjoying the sights of Wilderness (where we all congregate for fun times), all the out-door activities we can do there, opening presents, and this year is especially special because of Caro's wedding :D I wonder what I'll wear? Jess already brought a stunning black dress, so whatever I choose won't compare. I guess I'll strut my T-shirt and shorts since there's no competition anyway :P

Don't worry, I'm just kidding! I'll prepare some kind of suit or something...

Lucky number 13

I see 13 as my lucky number, mostly just to spite everyone that gets superstitious easily. And besides, it has the number 3 in it! The magic number of posts per week, Magic 3. So mysterious... In fact, there are only 2 whole numbers in existence that don't have '3' in them! 1, and 2. every other number has 3. 4 = 3+1, BAM! Magic number 3. That same principal can be applied to any number above 3, just in case you were wondering.

So Happy Friday the 13th!

NOT a holiday for some reason...

Yours in writing
Benjamin

THE END OF THE WORLD!

PUPPY!!!

It's the end of the world as we know it,
It's the end of the world as we know it,
It's the end of the world as we know it,
And I feel dry...

The world shall end not with a bang, but a water-less, crackly whimper...

That's right folks - there is drought in the air. I don't know how many days I've gone without a bath... Thank goodness I can shower every week! Seriously though. We didn't have water for nearly 2 whole days and I thought I was going to die :'( I felt so filthy because I couldn't shower on Tuesday evening like I normally do. I live for those weekly Tuesday showers... Not having running water is enough to drive you mad!

Well, with the drought and my random rants. That will probably drive you crazy rather soon. So now I'm treating the water that we do have with a great deal more respect, you're taught a little humility when you realise how lost you are without it. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, they say... And since you are made up of an astonishing 70% water, you get pretty fond pretty fast.

Speaking of distance

I really need to talk to my dad and sisters! I feel like a bad sibling-son when I don't talk to them for so long, why do I suck so much when it comes to keeping contact? I would like to take this time and space to send a shout-out first to my dad, thank you for being so great and raising me so lovingly. Then thank you Carol for marrying my dad and making him so happy. Thank you Kathryn for being the best (little) sister in the world, and I'm so proud of you for studying so far from home and your beloved family (I mostly mean me ;) but our parents too). Thank you Caroline for being the greatest (also little but older) sister in the world! Of course you also make me so proud, what with you having your own place in such a beautiful area and getting married. I am soooo excited for that. And lastly but not leastly, thank you Francois for bringing joy to my sister's heart. bro. Okay I think that's it for the shout-out, so lastly I just want you all to know that I love you! Even if I don't call every day. Or week. Or month... I do think of you all, I promise :)

As my beautiful girlfriend quoted on her blog, "Ohana"! (for those of you that don't know, Ohana means family. And family means no-body gets left behind, or forgotten)

- Thanks Jess

Yours in writing

Benjamin

I don't want to set the world on fire!

Fatal I say! Now go wear something else...

I promise! But I like change. If I have the choice to do something completely different to what I'm doing now, I'll probably take the opportunity. For example, I was waitering. Now I'm not waitering anymore! Because I got the chance to do something else. To be fair, I actually hated waitering by the end of it... I'm looking forward to moving out as well, and having a place to myself. Well, out of my parents' house. That is an exciting idea, funds are the only issue at this point. I need a better paying job, or I need my job to pay better.

The power which the past holds over me

I don't think about the past often and I don't dwell on it. Just as I've been a waiter, I took the life lessons away from doing that and I implement the skills that I've acquired for doing better in my current job. I even use those people skills in every day social interactions, they're built into my sub-conscious! I don't think about how I'll greet people like I used to, or worry about calling up businesses for things and talking to strangers. If someone acts negatively or aggressively to me I'll deal with the situations as they arise. In my opinion, to truly accept change you need to let go of what you had before. You can't live in the past and still enjoy what you have in the now!

I may be a special case though. I have lived a fortunate and privileged life, that's true. I thank the heavens for that blessing. So I don't think of the past much... In fact I often find myself forgetting things that used to be important or relevant to me after just a few weeks, as though my mind decides that there is more important info to record. A distant example would be the hamster that died when I was younger! I heard from my friend from way back then that I cried for the poor thing and had a burial! I did NOT remember that, I only remember finding it lifeless in its cage-thingy.

If you view life as a book :P

Remembering sad or saddening things is not in my skill set. Recently someone very close to me told me that she doesn't think she's beautiful because of what bullies told her in the first 3 years of school. I can't wrap my head around why that still bothers her, I was bullied too in school but that was a lifetime ago! No really... I don't mean I've gotten old, perish the thought! But I've completely changed. As humans, we change to survive! Day to day, year to year, we change our thinking and undergo physical changes as well. I used to be tiny and adorable, I hated work and I didn't talk to people because they scared me. Today I have some great friends that I can depend on to the end, I got tall and less adorable, and I talk to people a lot! Every day! Well, almost every day... I still hate having to work, but I have accepted it as a necessary evil. Because I like buying nice things :D

So what hold do those sad children have from 10 or 15 years ago? Absolutely none! They didn't even insult me, they insulted a scared little kid whom was insecure about his intelligence and looks. They were mean to someone else, even if that person was in my body. So hold your head high, nobody is the same person that they were yesterday!

Go forth now human, and be confident in your path no matter the hurdles you face! 

Yours in writing

Benjamin