Another missed post, a little more guilt

Life tends to pick up the pace sometimes, it really catches you off guard... Smacks you around a little, you know how it is. And that is my grand excuse for skipping Monday's post! My apologies to all my readers that are up-lifted from their sad Monday blues when they learn of my grand exploits, I will try to not fail you next time. I promise! (that I will try)

I've still got it!

I know. I'm too young to think that I've lost it. But man, what a rush to your ego when a complete stranger tells you that you have a "Beautiful face"! She then ran off blushing. I'm sexy and I know it B)
And I'm full of myself. It's true...

More life-or-death animal informations!

As your loyal informations informant, let's talk about Kitty-cats, Woof-woofs, Ponies, Moo-ers, and Hamsters. I know you've been waiting patiently for this vital info!

What every cat EVER has thought of you

Lots of human beans like to keep Kitty-cats and Woof-woofs as pets. I would know, being a human bean with pets too. The Kitty-cat, aka Kitties and Me-ows, are a cold-hearted species of horrific horrors. They murder helpless animals for sport! Mostly pesky vermin that we don't want around anyway, but none-the-less they kill without mercy! They are also known to feast on the joy of the beans that look after them. They do this very efficiently, by causing you happiness with their attention-seeking nature and warm fuzzy fur. They trick your puny bean-like human bean brain into believing you want to pet them before they devour that happiness right out of you! Viciously!

Woof-woofs are indeed lovely creatures though. They funnel their own happiness into your life at their own expense, they're positively precious! But only if they like you! If it doesn't look like they like you, RUN!

That guy on the right is so convincing! :D

Ponies and Moo-ers! They are actually the same thing! The milk you drink is from selectively bred ponies, especially fat ones. Moo-ers, aka cows, do NOT exist! It's all a ruse to get you to buy the milk. Would you willingly drink pony milk? Probably not! Since ancient times, our corporate leaders have been lying to us about milk. They've built vast fields of lies! Literally! Those things that look like cows? NOT COWS! The farmers dress their children up as the fat mythical beasts and have them roam the fields. Corporate lies...

Hamsters are fine. No worries there. Perhaps a choking hazard of you don't chew properly, but I wouldn't say they're a cause for concern.

Stay safe and positively good-looking,
Yours in writing
Benjamin (not a cow)